Last week was a pretty big week for fantasy roboticists everywhere, as Hasbro finally opened the floodgates of Transformers movie merchandise to the purchasing public. For the few weeks preceding that, us toy nerds had been hearing tales of these little robots being stocked on shelves, priced, but forbidden to leave the store once they reached the cashier, due to release date complications. The embargo has been lifted, though, and just in time for me to stumble into them as I was returning a completely different item to the store. To my own defense though, I’m biologically predisposed to being magnetically attracted to anything robot-related within a mile of myself. You can’t fight nature, especially in giant robot form.

Hasbro has already saturated the toy aisle with a crazy number of Transformers toys, half of which don’t even perform the requisite transformations that give them their name. I ended up coming home with a couple of transforming items (including the Deluxe Class Jazz and Swindle), but the one that initially caught my eye was the Real Gear Robots Spy Shot 6 toy.

It’s not the first time that there have been Transformers toys that convert from their robot forms into realistically scaled real-world items, blending in with our everyday sundries without detection. The Real Gear Robots line features robots that can transform into binoculars, a PSP-like handheld gaming device, a cell phone, a video camera, and my favorite, the compact digital camera. For my money, the digital camera was the only robot that seemed truly convincing as the everyday item that it purported to be.

For about eight bucks, the Real Gear Robots present some interesting toy engineering feats - even if they’re completely divorced from the core Transformers story and exist only to be toys. I’ve never been really interested in the emotional travails and complicated plotlines of robots anyhow, unless it interferes with them making me a sandwich or defeating my various archnemeses with death rays. The ideal robot would actually do both at once, because Death Ray sandwiches are delicious.

Spy Shot 6 is a tiny little thing, very similar in size to the average compact digital camera. It features clear plastic wherever lenses and viewfinders and flashes are concerned, which is a detail that really aids the veracity of the item, and the rest is done up in the appropriate dull greys. The biggest departure from realism comes with the pseudo-LCD screen on the rear side. Instead of being a black, shiny square (as if the item were off), it’s a goofy sticker. The packaging is kind enough to let us know that this Autobot is not a real working camera, though. Thanks, guys. Next you’re going to tell me that it also can’t fire laser beams. As a camera, he does feature a spring-loaded shutter button that emits a satisfying ‘click’ when pressed, even if it doesn’t perform an actual function.

Transforming him to robot mode is fairly easy, and the packaging rates it at a difficulty level of ‘2 out of 4’, the number ‘0’ being reserved for those odd items that don’t even bother to transform. Transforming him reveals the usual full set of arms and legs, as well as a tiny little ‘big brother is watching you’ head with red, translucent eyes that glow when the light passes through them right. I’d almost say that, as an all-observing camera, this head design is a direct, clever reference those ‘watching’ posters of yore.

As far as I’m concerned, it’s an excellent little introduction to the world of the Transformers, and for once, merchandising the movie property with completely tangential items doesn’t bother me like, say, a Fantastic Four Dr. Doom Silly Cycle or Extreme Bungee Jumping Thing. ‘Cause there are robots, and ergo, inherently awesome.

Imagine my surprise when I arrived home today, after just waxing poetic about the dangers of ‘Megatron With Orange Plug Thing’, only to find a brand new Optimus Prime waiting on my doorstep. Clearly, the forces of light and dark are toying with my soul of some cosmic scale to rend me in twain so. Should I join the Autobots or the Decepticons? Which side provides better dental is the real question here.

After seeing a vast array of roboty goodness in Hasbro’s NYC showrooms during Toy Fair, I’d become pretty psyched about the upcoming Transformers movie, due in theatres on this upcoming July 4th. My interest in the Transformers and their legacy is nascent at best, but it grows with each subsequent exposure. We weren’t allowed to photograph a majority of what we saw in the Transformers showroom (which included a brief walkthrough of the Transformers : The Movie video game), but images of these items have slowly been leaking their way out in controlled press releases from Hasbro, from the plush Softimus Prime, to their lines of traditional action figures, all of which will appear in stores on their official release date on June 2nd. Which will probably be a day that will live in infamy and permanently scar many Toys ‘R’ Us employees.

Those toy release things can get intense.

What I had delivered to me was a Transformers Optimus Prime ‘Leader’ figure, roughly 10 inches tall, and with the new ‘Advanced Automorph Technology’. What is this technology, and will it help me score? Read on to find out.

Optimus Prime, leader of the Autobots and hero to millions, is a formidable figure. In robot mode, Optimus has all kinds of articulation, given the fact that many of these joints are use both to pose the figure and as foldable, collapsable and expandable transformation points. You can always tell a quality toy by how its hands are articulated, and Optimus has first-knuckle joints for each of his fingers, and even a ball jointed thumb. While certainly imposing as a robotic entity, the main gimmick of the Transformers toy line is their ability to transform into other things, so Optimus transforms into a truck. He’s a very solid figure, made almost entirely of durable plastic, all of which endured even my most misguided twistings and proddings. In fact, he weighs about 1.5 pounds.

His flamey decals might not be canon, but they’re hot, and very well applied. If you look very closely, the entire figure is not only painted in dark blue and red, but a very slightly sparkly dark blue and a sparkly red. Use these details to convince your girlfriend to allow you to purchase this figure. Also, say that it comes with lipstick and an issue of Cosmo. No, darling, of course you don’t see them in the box… you need to TRANSFORM the big scary robot into… effeminate mode first.

After about 20 minutes of squinting at wordless instructions where every part looks exactly like the next part, I managed to turn robot Optimus into truck Optimus. I’m sure that a majority of the more dimensionally minded out there wouldn’t have the same initial frustrations that I had, and most people also probably remember to put their car in park before they lock it and start to walk away from it and wonder why it’s following them. I’m not one of those people. The packaging lists Optimus as ‘Conversion Level 4’, which is as high as the scale goes. While I’m not sure if that refers to ‘difficulty’ or ‘degree of awesome’, it pretty much applies on both counts. I did, after all, major in Difficult Awesomology when I went to college. On the moon. Very prestigious place. The good news is that I didn’t even need the instructions the second time I tried to transform the figure.

Optimus is also passable as a truck, and all of his various parts shift together nicely. A button on the front of the rig creates some flashing lights in the cab and a honking noise, but this button is deactivated in robot mode.

The ‘automorphing’ feature is designed to make the last step of Optimus’ transformation back into robot mode exciting, so when a lever is pressed on his chest, his head pops out, his chest splits open and more flashing lights are seen, along with some laser gun noises. Don’t be mislead into thinking that ‘automorphing’ is a magic button that you can press to transform the whole rig from one mode to another, any more than I can call my mouth ‘autoeating’. You know, after I chew each bite, and digestion is aided by the chemical processes of saliva and my food is moved into my body through peristalsis. It’s still a neat feature, though. An additional action feature is his basic ‘missile projectile’ feature, which is located on his right arm.

So, Optimus Prime is not so much a movie-based figure (as his appearance will be significantly different in the movie), and it’s not so much a classic Transformers toy (as he’s never appeared exactly like this in any comic or cartoon), but it’s a movie-excitement-related-toy, and a great reason for Hasbro to pump out robotic products like we’ve never seen before. Suggested retail on this item is $40, and it’s very likely a must-have for any Transformers fan, or anyone with a penchant towards iconic robots of the last century.

In continuing with Derek’s theme of ‘items you shouldn’t have’, allow me to bring it to a more decidedly lowbrow level. We’re not talking Van Gogh, but instead Optimus Prime. Arguably, both were equally significant forces of nature - one just happened to be a robot. Does that make Optimus BETTER? I’ll let history decide.

There’s recently been a bit of a stir amongst Transformers fans regarding the import of a certain Japanese Transformers toy into the United States. See, Transformers collectors are purists, and willing to pay huge sums of money to own early pieces and original Japanese issue pieces (as well as traveling long distances to attend conventions). While some of these pieces are prohibitively inaccessible and expensive, collectors will usually go for accurate replicas of the original toys - the more exact the better. Sometimes, replica toys are even presented in packaging that emulates the original toy’s packaging, completing the illusion, but usually bearing a mark somewhere on the toy, in an inconspicuous location, to differentiate it from the original.

The figure at issue is the MP-05 Masterpiece Megatron, which runs about $100 and is currently available at specialty retailers internationally - but good luck getting it through customs. This toy is a recent invention, a model designed to be as accurate as possible to the original animation. Megatron transforms, as all Transformers do, but the problem is that Megatron transforms into a gun. Not just any old gun, but a startlingly realistic representation of a Walther P38 handgun. This kind of thing is highly illegal according to US toy laws, which state that toy guns must be significantly marked as such, usually with unrealistic shapes and colors, but at least marked with a bright (“blaze”) orange plug, inserted at least 6 millimeters into the barrel of the gun, and clearly marking the tip. This plug must also be non-removable.

These laws, adopted nationwide in 1988 (and subsequently being consistently altered and improved since then, especially in New York), are in place to protect both children and adults alike, and were enacted in force after a string of unnecessary shooting deaths precipitated by would-be robbers using fake guns to enact their robberies and being stopped with the appropriate force - were their guns real.

As a result of these toy laws, the MP-05 Masterpiece Megatron is being sold in the US as the ‘MP-05 Masterpiece Megatron with Orange Barrel Plug’. And while collectors are willing to accept a bright orange lump hanging off of their Megatrons, they’re not thrilled. This item is being exclusively imported by Big Bad Toy Store (where I’ve borrowed this article’s images from), who have taken it upon themselves to create a custom orange plug and have it glued in place while in Japan, BEFORE the item is sent into the US, ensuring that it will pass through customs undisturbed. Megatron has just arrived in the past week or so, collectors are already reporting that some plugs are easily pulled from the gun mode of Megatron.

While I don’t think it’s illegal to OWN a non-altered (or restored, as in this case) toy gun, it’s certainly inadvisable to leave the house with it. Megatron was never meant to hijack a car, even if he IS the leader of the Decepticons, archnemesis of Optimus Prime and the Autobots. Half of those guys turn INTO cars anyhow.

So, you might have trouble getting any Megatron that features a transformation into a TV-accurate Walther P38 shipped to you, but you can start with this Wikipedia list of Megatron toys. They’re more than meets the eye.

So the first stop in this year’s Toy Fair extravaganza was Hasbro. Since many companies have drastically changed their press strategies since last year due to budgetary and strategic realizations, Hasbro actually decided to shuffle the members of the press through their showrooms in small groups on the Saturday preceding the actual Toy Fair, summoning me to the city on a day when I otherwise had nothing planned. Additionally, they’d set up shop at nearby Splashlight Studios instead of a traditional Toy Fair showroom in the usual toy buildings. While I didn’t feel EXACTLY like I was going to wake up in a bathtub full of ice missing a kidney or three, it came close. However, a dancing Spider-Man Potato Head danced around outside and ushered me and my traveling companion, Laura, inside. Check out the details in this handy photo gallery!

Hasbro’s most notably collectible properties encompass the enormous Star Wars brand, GI Joe, the newly-acquired Marvel Comics license and Transformers, including the upcoming live-action Transformers movie. While the uber-macho nature of GI Joe has always escaped my ardour, my barely-present awareness of Transformers has now officially flared into a full-on bout of highly contagious Transformeritis. It’s like my robot fetish never registered them, but now I see. It’s okay, though. They were in disguise.

Hasbro announced the slow continuation of the popular Sigma Six line of GI Joe action figures, (a stylized and highly-articulated series in the 6+” scale), and their plans to continue with a more classic GI Joe styling, as well as the return of the Kung-Fu Grip action feature on larger figures. Of course, I was also very distracted by a vat of silver, foam Kung-Fu Grip fists that were being given away to attendees, and a loud British man extolling the history of GI Joe to the Hasbro rep that was giving us our tour and barking over to his lap-dog photographer to get shots of this or that. You could hand me two vastly different GI Joes and I still wouldn’t be sure which one was original flavor and which one was honey barbecue.

Collectors were salivating for new pictures of Hasbro’s second set of Marvel Legends figures, since their inaugural set was met with a lukewarm (but hopeful) response. While the second wave will include a much-wanted Yellowjacket, She-Hulk, Quicksilver and a few characters from X-3, not a single new figure was on display. A single, carded Battle Armor Thor made an appearance, but the Marvel section was powerfully underwhelming. However, recent rumors have surfaced about future waves including a Build-A-Figure Brood Queen and Ronan the Accuser, as well as Fantastic Four and Spider-Man comic-based waves, also including the Build-A-Figure feature. Hasbro is deciding to focus much of their Marvel license on the Spider-Man 3 movie, including a 5” set of action figures with action features (smaller than most of the existing Marvel figures, and thus causing a scale problem among displays) and many plush and kid-centric Spidey items. As if toys are for kids or something. Also present were some uninspiring Fantastic Four movie figures, leading one to believe that we were missing something larger.

Marvel gaming will also expand from the Attacktix line, on beyond the failed Battle Dice game, and into Marvel Heroscape, which is actually a fairly successful tabletop gaming franchise in the vein of Heroclix and Warcraft.

Laura had wandered off to play with talking parrot toys and oinking pigs, mostly in the predominantly pink section of the showroom.

Next came Star Wars, which was the high point of the Hasbro showrooms for me. The most exciting revelation was that Hasbro plans to create an array of action figures based upon the original Star Wars concept art created by Ralph McQuarrie, which was significantly different between initial concept and final screen execution. Even the most obscure, barely-present Star Wars characters and aliens have been explored three or four times at this point (except for Yarna D’al Gargan, for some reason - kids have seen six-breasted pole-dancers before, guys), so they’re taking it oldschool. In addition to this line, a line of characters for an upcoming Star Wars video game is planned for release (including a battle-damaged Darth Vader), as well as a large collection of new figures that will include 30th anniversary coins, a coin album, and a mail-away offer for a special commemorative coin (which, incidentally, Toy Fair attendees were given for free and is now worth $125 at auction).

The small, cute, kid-friendly Galactic Heroes line will also continue, including fan favorite Momaw Nadon & Han in Carbonite. Probably most stellar was a Darth Vader Transformer that collapses completely into a perfect Death Star sphere. I tastefully refrained from asking about the relative position of the exhaust port. Continuing the existing Star Wars Unleashed mini-battle scene assortments are some great original trilogy arrays. Overall, Hasbro seems to have a large focus on revisiting the original trilogy (instead of the repulsive recent episodes) in deference to the 30th Anniversary events, complete with distinctive new packaging. There was a curious lack of Yodas, as my traveling companion Laura would point out, when she was done deciding that she’d rather have an animatronic parrot instead of a wedding ring.

One thing that Hasbro does that no other toy company has yet dared to approach is to mix and mingle their licenses. In as much, they’re occasionally use both Transformers, Star Wars and Marvel characters all in the same series of toys, such as their Attacktix game. As far as Transformers go, they’ll be focusing all of their energon energies on the Transformers movie. While we were banned from photographing anything in the top-secret Transformers room, we were allowed to snap shots of the high-end Bumblebee Transformer (a prominent character in the film), which includes lights and sounds, and full functionality as both a 10” robot and a sportscar. The rest of the Transformers line will span a large collection of figures, role-play items and huggable plush items which will have cashiers everywhere questioning the maturity of many grown males for the remainder of their adult lives, because laying my head upon a cushiony Optimus Prime is not entirely unappealing.

Hasbro presented us with the bonus of meeting up with the creators and programmers of the Transformers movie video game, who gave us a sample of their in-production gameplay. While still in debugging mode, with cut scenes and final character renderings far from complete, the game still seemed to play beautifully and look exceptional (even with the temporary Justice League Unlimited theme music playing in the background).

Despite the lack of Marvel fan goodies, it was not a disappointing trip. It’s my understanding that Hasbro is holding out for New York Comic Con in two weeks to roll out their big guns, and I’m willing to wait. At the conclusion of their press tours, Hasbro is fairly well known for giving out choice swag in their press kits (including a Darth Vader figure in 2005 that climbed to thousands of dollars at auction). We were given a big, bulky Transformers press kit that included a transforming pen (which is actually pretty neat), and a Spi-Dog, which is an i-Dog painted up like Spider-Man.

One can’t venture to New York City without exploring some of the sights, so after the press appointment, another lady-friend and I explored Giant Robot, Toy Tokyo and Forbidden Planet Comics (where a cashier generously offered to kill me for my Transformers press kit - I declined), and found ourselves a sushi dinner, only to return to the city for another three days. Stay tuned for Marvel Toys, Product Enterprise, Mattel, DC Direct, Diamond Select, Mezco, Sideshow Collectibles and a vast array of toy oddities, including, and remember that you heard it here first, Potty Monkey.

In the meantime, check out the growing photo galleries!