Before my recent exploration of Hot Wheels cars, I had little interest in them. Sure, when I was younger I’d build racetracks that would span from the upstairs to the down and careen vintage racecars into the baseboards like there was no tomorrow, but they were just things with wheels. And given my state of nervousness as a child, it was likely that I believed that there was, in fact, no tomorrow, so I had better get all my Hot Wheelin’ in TODAY.

I recently went in search of a 1/64th scale 1980s era Crown Victoria to use as reference for a comic I’ve been drawing. Seeing as how it’s a profoundly ugly model of the car, all angles and elbows, they weren’t present on the pegs of cars I found. What I did discover, however, was that 1/64th scale cars did not stop at Hot Wheels, and in fact were significantly augmented by the Matchbox Cars section around the corner. Hot Wheels, by comparison, were the Kate to the fine, sweet Bianca of Matchbox. Whereas Hot Wheels seem to focus on the occasional realistic car and quickly descend into cartoonish representations of novelty cars, Matchbox keeps it real. Realistic representations of real cars, from the VW van to the Minicooper, which was exactly what I needed for reference. Sure, they have their Snow Monster Mission Adventure Sets and kid-oriented lines of cars, but as far as my $1 goes, Matchbox is where it’s at. You can’t get ANYTHING cool for a buck anymore, unless it’s 4 bouncy balls from the egg machines in the supermarket or 1/10th of a movie. Give me the 1/10th with the nudity, please.

As it turns out, I already have a fairly significant resource of model cars that has remained untapped in the back of one of my closets. During a KB Toys clearance sale, I’d scooped up a whole mess of superhero branded cars, mostly because they had superheroes on them, they were cheap, and they were patently ridiculous. The basic premise of these cars (still being produced today by Maisto) is to take a car, slap some superhero designs onto it, and present it as a car that said hero (or villain) might drive around in, or maybe just someone who REALLY LIKES the Silver Surfer would drive around in. Clearly, the very definition of babe magnetism. Nothing says ‘I live in a basement and breathe like Darth Vader but not on purpose’ like Mr. Fantastic painted on your car.

Maisto has over 75 different vehicles with super-people slapped on ‘em. While the Batmobile is a unique example of a certain vehicle being synonymous with a hero as a regular ride, other heroes aren’t usually associated with what they drive. Green Arrow kinda had an Arrowcar back when such every hero had a themed car and a teenage ward, and Ghost Rider needs his flame-wheeled motorcycle, but to imply that Wolverine drives a tank is beautiful ridiculousness. I’m not sure what kind of synaptic lapses have to occur to decide that The Mighty Thor, warrior of Asgard and wielder of the mighty Mjolnir, would drive a Cadillac Vizon anyhow. He’d clearly drive a chariot hewn from Yggdrasil and powered by the souls of dishonored warriors and fairies.

My personal favorite item from this collection, and the one that made me purchase any of these abominations at all, is the Dr. Doom Ambulance. With ‘I make house calls!’ scrawled on the side of it, there could be no more threatening vehicle, inherently good but ever-so-evil inside, like a bunny rabbit stuffed with hornets. What kind of medical malpractice happens within? Would a supergenius REALLY write ‘DR. DOOM 2 U’ in bad text-messaging slang on the hood of his own nefarious transport? This is prime evidence that a good portion of my collecting sensibilities are dominated by the ‘so bad it HAS to be good’ philosophy.

Not all comic vehicles are as neat as the Batmobile, and please take note that writing ‘Batman’ on a Minicooper does not a Batmobile make.

To my surprise and amusement, the most recent buzz on the toy message boards has somehow crossed that very distinct line between ‘action figure collecting’ and ‘Hot Wheels collecting’. To an outsider, we’re all weirdo toy geeks who spend too much time in kids’ stores, but to us, it’s distinct. I’d compare it to that classic Trek episode ‘Let That Be Your Last Battlefield’, in which two similar aliens with subtle skin color differences deeply detest each other but seem perfectly alike to the crew of the Enterprise (one of whom was played by Frank Gorshin, TV’s ‘The Riddler’)…. but that would probably just alienate me more.
Being an action figure collector, I have my own personal bias against those Hot Wheels collectors, having heard horror stories from store-opening stampedes, fistfights over Treasure Hunt cars and often finding whole racks of Mystery Cars torn wide open. An action figure collector might push down someone’s grandmother to get to the last Mongul figure. but a Hot Wheels collector would stab her, such is their blind passion. In most cases, our two factions would never meet, but the recent release of a 2007 First Editions Batmobile Hot Wheels car has sent us warily stalking into each others’ territories.

Sure, Mattel has made a bunch of Batmobiles in the past, mostly akin to the cinematic 1989 Tim Burton version or the asinine tank-Batmobile from the recent Batman Begins film, but this Batmobile is pure 1966 nostalgia, in the form of the George Barris designed TV Batmobile. This custom car was a reworked Lincoln Futura, an unproduced production sample car made in Turin, Italy by Ford. When the producers of the Batman TV show approached Barris for a custom car, which had to be ready in a scant three weeks for filming, the Futura was the perfect answer. Nerds might also be interested to learn that Barris also had a hand in designing the Ecto-1 from Ghostbusters, among other notable TV and movie cars.

This Batmobile has seen a toy presence before, from companies as far ranging as Aurora, Ideal, Clifford, Corgi and Mego, but this is the first time that the Barris Batmobile has been presented in 1/64 scale by Hot Wheels. For fans of the campy Adam West Batman, as-yet-unsatiated by the sheer travesty that the Batman TV show has not been released on DVD, this is a little bit of heaven. Even if we have to wander into the foul-smelling depths of HotWheelslahoma.

The ‘TV Batmobile’, as the card calls it, is numbered 15/36 in the upper right hand corner of its package, along a yellow strip that runs along the right side. This is invaluable information when hunting for this car, because if you’re anything like me, every car looks exactly the same unless it’s an Ecto-1 or a Batmobile. Adding to the collectability is the fact that these Hot Wheels cars will either come packaged on a regular card, about 6” tall, or a short card, about 3.5” tall. This is not so much to create collectible variations, but provide retailers with different display options to suit their stores better. Other variations on the cars themselves include gold-colored hubcaps, instead of the usual silver.

After a few weeks of casual searching, I’d given up on finding this car, certain that some Hot Wheels scalper had already clutched it in his sweaty pork-fists and stumbled to the counter, out of my noble grasp. Fortunately, despite my attempts at taking all of my nourishment in superhero-branded foodstuff form in hopes of gaining superpowers, I still had to go out food shopping. And I don’t suggest consuming anything with the words ‘Hulkin’ Berry’ on it, ever. Not only does it not make any sense, but it probably really tastes like the Hulk’s berries. So, in Shop Rite, somewhere near the sensory abomination that is ‘herring in sour cream’ (which I think is very similar to what ‘hopelessness’ would look like, were it to take physical form), I happened upon a rack of about a dozen Hot Wheels. I still get that Wonka-bar-opening sensation anytime I see a fresh display of something, and right on top was my precious 1966 Batmobile. A few days later, I’d happen upon a short carded version on the express line at Wal-Mart and buy that also, because it’s the BATMOBILE.

It’ll be added to my growing collection of Batmobiles, and I don’t even like cars. I’ve been collecting the 1/24 scale Batmobiles by Corgi, which intelligently focus on the various appearances of the Batmobile as it appeared in the actual comic books through the decades, all the way to the 1940’s Batmobile as it appeared on the cover of Batman #20. It’s easy to forget that Batman’s origins are firmly planted in the literature of comic books, which are too often ignored with the desire to market the character itself.

Keep an eye out for 15/36. I might know little about cars or Hot Wheels, but this in a bonafide piece of TV history.