It all starts with Bruce Timm. If you need to blame anyone for why I am the way I am, blame Bruce Timm. And maybe Swiss Cake Rolls, which you can blame the fat parts on.

In 1992, ‘Batman : The Animated Series’ debuted. I was 11 years old, and I wasn’t really that into superheroes at all, if you can believe it. My kind of superheroes were made of pixels and fought their way through The Mushroom Kingdom and sometimes had wizardly beards and summoned dragons for magical stuff. Still, something about the serious, dark and brooding atmosphere of ‘Batman’ changed everything, despite its lack of orcs and bugbears. It was a cartoon that didn’t depend on slapstick humor, bright colors, punchlines or any modicum of goofiness, and it got my attention more with a whisper than a bang - and I wasn’t the only one who was hypnotized.

Bruce Timm had come along and revolutionized the way that we thought of animation. It could be beautiful and fluid, and be incredibly simple at the same time. In fact, the less lines and details that there were in a character, the better and more convincingly they seemed to move, even if the details of the character itself were minimized. Timm’s interpretations of characters from Batman to Killer Croc to The Penguin and Catwoman all melded seamlessly with the timeless Art Deco landscape of his Gotham City.

After a few other heroic characters from the DC Universe made appearances in Batman’s show, the collective appetite of an audience of cartoon fans was whetted for more. In 1996, Superman got his own similarly animated show, and in 2001, ‘Justice League’ premiered, incorporating a larger number of Timm-inspired and designed heroes to the ‘DCAU’, or ‘DC Animated Universe’. This evolved into ‘Justice League Unlimited’ after a few seasons, which ostensibly gained the license to use each and every DC character somehow in any given episode, and it often did. And it was exciting to see a little cartoony Etrigan the Demon or Captain Marvel battling it out across the TV, for the first time in full motion. The minimalist Art Deco style of the characters somehow flowed seamlessly into a more modern environment.

By this time, the series had evolved into an action figure line, and against everything that action figure collectors collectively clamor for and whine about, the series remains a massive success. Sure, they’re in a tiny 4” tall scale, and they have barely any articulation at all, and most of them can’t stand up on their own, but there’s so damned MANY of them. I recently went through my own collection and catalogued them for our Community Section, so check ‘em out. Mattel takes the ‘Star Wars’ approach to making JLU action figures, inasmuch as any character that might have had half of their face appear in a crowd scene once warrants an action figure, and I love it. Recently, the newer figures have been exceptionally difficult to find, so collectors have been raising alarms about this scarcity - myself included this time. I want a Mr. Miracle, darnit, and I’m not paying 50 bucks for a 4-inch Volcana figure - which eBay is asking right now. None of this collecting was made any easier by hard-to-get convention exclusives like Solomon Grundy, and a Green Lantern Hal Jordan figure that Mattel released only to employees at a company party.

The interesting thing about these figures is not that there are so many, but this ‘animated style’ that was originated by Bruce Timm’s artwork has spanned across divides between all manner of properties - things that have never been animated are now being created as sculptures and action figures in this simplified ‘animated style’. Why? Because it’s just so neat. While it defies traditional toy logic to create an action figure or sculpture line that doesn’t immediately match up to an existing property exactly as it appears, it’s happening. Collectors routinely decry anything that doesn’t exactly match with what it’s supposed to be, and yet, these interpretations are successful.

Gentle Giant didn’t go the action figure route, but went significantly more monumental with the animated style, creating an interesting series of mini-statues, or ‘animaquettes’, of a large array of Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, and Pirates of the Caribbean characters. While I haven’t been sucked into the Lord of the Rings or Pirates stuff (yet), I absolutely fell in love with Animated Darth Vader and Princess Leia… and I have my eye on a Chewbacca and maybe an Emperor.

Pirates of the Caribbean has extended itself beyond these statues and the array of action figures that were created for the franchise’s movies, and suddenly, ‘animated style’ figures have been popping up under the name ‘Swashbucklers’.

The now-defunct Palisades Toys was probably the first company to breach this animated void, when they created their ‘Witchblade Animated’ toys in the early 2000s, despite the fact that the comic series Witchblade wasn’t animated until 2007. Recently, McFarlane toys also added a whole mess of ‘animated’ toys to the world of Spawn action figures, and while ‘Spawn’ was actually a semi-successful HBO cartoon a while back, it wasn’t in the style that these figures appear in. This minimalist design style has been just that infectious.

Time to go pop in some DVDs and fight off the effects of anime destroying Saturday mornings as we knew them.

Okay, I know that I talk about action figures. A lot. What I hope to communicate in these little talks, more than anything, is that there is a toy for everyone. Sure, a vast majority of well-known action figures focus around superheroic characters or movie properties, but they’re so much more. They’re figural reminders and representations of things we like - and I guarantee you that there’s at least ONE for everyone.

And more and more, there’s one OF everyone. I’m not even sure if I can count the figures created in the likeness of Johnny Depp in his various personas, or the growing collection of through-the-ages Elvises (Elvi?) - but even behind the scenes, and usually fairly camera shy, we have the creators, thinkers and artists behind the things we love. While it’s uncommon that these guys ever get too much personal exposure, they do get a lot of intellectual respect, and recently, action figures of themselves. And almost always, it’s really clever.

The first action figure / creator item that came to my attention happened within the Muppet Show line of action figures by Palisades. Through a limited edition, Collector’s Club only event, Palisades created a complete action figure of Jim Henson. Of course, since this was a Muppet line, they created the figure of Henson in his Muppet form so that he’d blend in with the rest of his creations. The actual Henson Muppet appeared on the show a few times as a background character, but the posthumous homage to Henson as a Muppet, godfather to such a vast and interesting array of creations, was both appropriate and moving.

Peter Jackson, director of the Lord of the Rings film trilogy, also appeared as an action figure created by ToyBiz. While Jackson didn’t appear onscreen, (and please correct me if I’m wrong - there was a lot going on in those movies), he appeared as a rare Hobbit figure, right alongside Frodo, Sam, Pippin and the like. In properties where there are large, generic races of things and armies of faceless warriors, one can often find the face of a crew member or other important behind-the-scenes players slipped in among the masses. Peter Jackson also made an appearance as a Corsair Warrior in a line of statues created by Sideshow Toys.

Todd McFarlane, creator of Spawn, collector of baseballs, controversial personality, and toy revolutionary, possibly made the earliest appearance of a creator-as-action-figure. While not an independently released toy, McFarlane was a pack-in accessory in the Spawn Alley Playset, as ‘Todd the Bum’. The whole McFarlane toy company has always had a bizarre sense of humor. The figure was later re-released through the collectors’ club as ‘Todd the Artist’.

Of all creators, George Lucas has had the most figures made of himself - all of them limited edition and usually only available in special giveaways, conventions, or online shops. He’s appeared as a Stormtrooper, a Rebel Pilot named Jorg Sacul, and also in a Lucas family four-pack, which features likenesses of the whole Lucas family (two of whom have appeared in the Star Wars films in one way or another). Within this pack, Lucas is re-named ‘Baron Papanoida’, and is again given an alien biography to back up the figure - but he’s never really been great with creating alien names. Unofficially, Lucas has made a fourth appearance in the Star Wars McQuarrie Concept collection of figures. These are an ongoing line of figures (mixed in with regular Star Wars assortments) that are based on the original artwork of Ralph McQuarrie, the artist who painted an array of characters and scenes to pitch the Star Wars trilogy to producers. McQuarrie’s painting of the original Han Solo bears a striking resemblance to a young George Lucas. While there’s no official word that this is actually based on Lucas, I’d bet my Death Star on it. Or at least, like, twenty bucks. Ralph McQuarrie has also recently been made into an action figure, conveniently and respectfully named ‘General McQuarrie’.

Quentin Tarantino recently appeared as an action figure also, after he made an on-screen appearance in Grindhouse. In an action figure line with only four figures, he was one, and because of his twisted sense of humor, his figure was simply called ‘Rapist #1’.

We also can’t forget about the immortal Stan Lee - finally made into an action figure during this past summer’s convention season, Marvel Legends style. He features an interchangeable head that he can switch out with Peter Parker, so he also doubles as Spider-Man in some bizarre, old-man way.

And there are surely many left to come. The dreams of us lowly creators becoming action heroes, or at least figures, are becoming more realistic. Be sure to keep an eye out for the Collin David action figure - sometime in the distant future.

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Last night, as if in a hazy dream, a spirit visited me in my chambers — it did not appear malevolent, despite its parachute pants, mullet, and wide lapels. This curious shade hovered around the end of my bed, waiting for my terror to subside, before identifying itself.

“Derek!” it exclaimed with a deep, wavering voice only belonging to the most tortured of the undead, “I come to you to show you the errors of your ways! I Am The Ghost Of The Future Of Christmas Presents Past!”

“Wait,” I said, “aren’t you going a little fast? There’s supposed to be a fat guy, and then a grim-reaper-thing –”

“NO!” the ghost bellowed, glowing flames rising from its aura and the faint tones of Roxette playing in the distance. “I am not here to show you the errors of your whole life — I’m to show you how the presents you had been given in your youth would have been worth more, if not for your reckless ways!”

“Oh,” I replied.

“…and there’s not enough ghosts to go around for everyone, so we do triple-shifts. Christmas is a busy time of year, what with everyone taking vacation…”

I nodded understandingly. Suddenly, the room fell away, leaving me floating in space, as my life flew by, in reverse, until we stopped at Christmas, 1978. We hovered close to the ceiling, as young me unwrapped a large box. Beneath the wrapping paper and cardboard was a giant robot named Raydeen, a toy I had made a big fuss about in Dayton’s a few weeks before. Here he was, in all his 2′ tall glory — one of my favorite toys of the day.

“Your beloved toy — whatever happened to it?” the spirit asked.

“I still have it — it’s really beat up. The fist broke pretty quickly, and I chewed on the rubber point on the shield, and I don’t think it has any more stickers…”

“Do you realize what it would be worth today, if you had not wrecked it?”

“Well, it was the 3rd generation Mattel, without the epaulets, so it’s not as uncommon, but with the box…”

“TELL ME!” the shade demanded.

“Probably around a hundred, hundred-fifty?”

The trailer house we lived in began to swirl and glow, slowly replacing with my grandparent’s basement — Christmas 1980. I’m sitting on the couch, watching little red dots bounce around on a small screen. Little beeps and electronic squeals emitted from the black plastic housing.
“Oh, man, I forgot about that — it’s hockey! Two people could play it, but my brother was a little young still. ”

The ghost gave me a serious look, and asked, “And what happened to that game? Tell me.”

An embarrassed look overtook my face. “Well, a few years later I got a soldering gun, and…”

“AND WHAT?” His preternatural voice boomed.

“Well, I took it all apart — all the LEDs, the switches, I pulled everything off its motherboard, and put them in a box. I think I threw them all away when I moved out.”

“And what of the other handheld video games — all quite collectible — that you owned at the time?”

“Um….well, I took most of those apart, too. Well, Microvision never worked right…the one we got was broken in the packaging, and we couldn’t return it for some reason. I think Mom still has it. ”

“If you still had them,” the ghost said with a chastizing tone, “just THINK of the collection you’d have today!”

The world fell away beneath us again, moving to our house on third street, Christmas 1983. Semi-transparent bue and green action figures were strewn about the floor, as I fiddled with a flimsy blue transparent thing.

“Crystar! Damn, that was a trippy toy!” I exclaimed.

“Just look at all of this — it’s the entire line.” The ghost said.

“I know, I think it was all marked down to nothing at K-Mart before Christmas, to get rid of it — nobody wanted it — and mom bought one of everything. Oh, that castle! It was made out of the same stuff blister-packaging is, so it broke pretty quickly.”

“But you had the entire line?” the ghost demanded.

“I think so — everything that they show on collector’s websites, I had…a couple versions of, I think.”

“And what happened to them?”

“I think I still have some of them in a box, somewhere, but like the castle they got beat up pretty quickly — is that all you’re here for, foul demon, to chastise me for playing with my toys?”

“I’m here to show you the error of your ways!” he shrieked, rattling his chains menacingly. “Those toys would cost you thousands to replace today, when you had them in your grasp once upon a time!”

“Did you ever have kids, cursed spirit?”

“Um….well, I was pretty busy at the antique mall, and…”

“– wait, you’re a dealer? I get it — this is your curse! You get to spend eternity watching kids wreck and ruin these collectibles, so you try and convince parents like me to teach my kids to leave things in the box?”

“Well, would that be so bad?”

I looked at the ghost incredulously.

“At least have them save the packaging — it doubles the value! And keep the Hot Wheels out of the sandbox, nothing good comes of that.”

“Accursed spirit of estate sales and auctions, if you understand one thing, remember this: If it weren’t for the thousands of kids that beat the living snot out of their toys, the few remaining ones wouldn’t be worth so much money. Kids can be taught about collecting, but forcing them to keep their toys in collectible condition is far more cruel than the curse you bear.”

“FAIR ENOUGH,” the spirit bellowed. “I understand that you do not recognize the errors of your ways — and for this, I place a curse on you. ”

“What? Why?! What kind of curse?!?”

“Er…well….OK, I can’t really curse you, but I promise, every time you see a Raydeen go for hundreds on eBay, you’ll feel a little twinge of remorse.”

“Probably so, but I can’t regret the fun I had.”

The world began to swirl and twist, and suddenly I was back in my bed-chambers. I lept from bed and tossed open the sash, to see a small child outside on the walk, marvelling at a mint, unopened McFarlane’s Twisted Christmas action figure.
“You there, child — what day is it?”

“Why, sir, it’s Christmas day!”

“Then open that toy, and play with it — that’s what Christmas is all about!”

“But….but the seconday market value!”

“Child, worry about that when you’re a grownup — today, that evil Santa needs to be free from his blister packaging!”

It’s become a Christmas Eve tradition for the family to take an evening drive around town to check out the local holiday light extravaganzas. The locals decorate their yards with everything from elegant strings of white lights on pine trees to giant, city-destroying, illuminated inflatable snowmen. Armies of nutcrackers emit a nuclear glow as they march outwards off of lawns, threatening everyone in the immediate vicinity with The Christmas Spirit Or Else. Electric bills skyrocket, and neighbors are kept awake by the fiery glow.

While these kinds of displays are expensive (and we settle for a simple wreath spotted with white lights for the outside of our house), my personal inside display is potentially excessive. For a long time, I’ve been accumulating action figures that are specifically designed in Christmas themes. They might be out of place for 11 months out of the year, but for one month, they’re not grossly inappropriate or overeager. As with my Christmas LPs, they’ve not been intentionally collected, but these action figures are usually slipped into regular lines of things that already bear some kind of collectability - and the list is surprisingly extensive. There’s great potential for an entire metropolis of holiday figures atop the mantle come Christmastime. Here’s a starter guide to beginning your own.

Oh, and action figures also can make neat tree decorations! With a little bit of string or wire, you can have a fully decked out Ewok village running through your stately pine come Christmastime.

I’ve mentioned the Star Wars toys that have been re-decorated for Christmases past. These have included a tiny Yoda in full Santa regalia, 2004’s set of two Jawas exchanging gifts, and 2005’s solid red Darth Vader on a wreath base. These retail at about $20 each, but prices climb as they become older. Nothing says ‘Merry Christmas’ like a genocidal overlord bathed in red! And while not action figures in a traditional sense, Fabriche has constructed an 8” scale set of sculptures based on the art of Ralph McQuarrie and a Christmas card that he’d painted. These include Yoda, C-3PO and R2-D2 - and there’s also a $200 Steinbach Darth Vader nutcracker, if you want to go totally Star Wars Holiday crazy. Don’t forget to pop on your bootleg DVD of the Star Wars Holiday Special and the Star Wars ‘Christmas in the Stars’ album. And don’t be surprised when no one shows up to your holiday party.

The original Simpsons line of action figures by Playmates included a Christmas box set. This whole line of figures had the benefit of living long enough so that almost every resident of Springfield was made into a figure, all of which include voice chips that sound sound off when the figures are plugged into their numerous playsets. Every new playset would bring a whole new array of phrases for the figures to say, as the voice chips were in the playsets themselves, and the figures simply activated them - so the audio possibilities were infinitely expandable for each character. So not only do you have the whole Simpson family (plus their dog, Santa’s Little Helper) in a Christmas living room set, but they talk. This set can be found for roughly $30, similar to its release price in the 90s.

McFarlane Toys has addressed Christmas only recently, but with two highly disparate showings hitting retail shelves in the past few weeks. First, they’ve produced the first and only cartoon-artwork accurate figures of The Grinch and his eponymous Christmas cartoon (let’s not even discuss the figures from the live-action film, please, thanks). These McFarlane figures (all coming with miniature display sets) beautifully capture some choice scenes from the film - the graphical demonstration of the Grinch’s tiny heart being two sizes too small, the sled about to crash over Mt. Crumpit, the Grinch magnetizing the nails from the chimney-hung stockings, tying the antler to Max’s head, and Cindy Lou Who (the only figure set of the five to not feature The Grinch himself).

This innocence is dashed, however, with McFarlane’s Twisted Christmas line, which are a freaked-out grotesquerie of holiday characters. These include a steroided-out, murderous Rudolph, and Mrs. Claus as a stripper on a pole. Also included are a set of three weapon-clutching elves that are more likely to eat your face than make you toys, a Frosty with icicle fangs, a clawed Santa who needs a gasmask and a bath, and a weird, amorphous mountain of ice and wood that represents ‘Jack Frost’. It’s one hell of a messed up idea of Christmas. McFarlane adds a bit of disturbing irony to these (as if they needed any more) by making their packaging completely innocent - cherubic elven faces and smiling Santas seem to imply that these figures were once wholesome, but something went terribly wrong after they were packaged and sent out into the world. We might all FEEL like this around Christmas, but do we really need to advertise it? All of these McFarlane toys are at retail now (usually at your local FYE or specialty shop - but not at Toys ‘R’ Us) for about 14 bucks each. Stripper Claus is especially rare, if you happen to see one and can muster up enough who-gives-a-damn to actually bring it to the shop counter.

And we definitely can’t forget about McFarlane’s flagship character Spawn, and his own personal Christmas figure from years past, released as ‘i.039’ in the 24th wave of Spawn figures, 2004’s Classic Comic Covers. The figure was very popular, and has been re-released to the McFarlane Collectors Club this year. Again, it’s a fairly dark and grotesque figure.

Keep reading on Saturday for a continuation of the nigh-endless Christmas figure list!

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Action figures, almost as a rule, are usually associated with an existing comic or television show. Using that narrative as a catalyst for generating interest in the characters that the figures represent, action figure lines thrive, expand, and continue wave after wave. Historically, action figures that find themselves on the shelves without a strongly marketed narrative aspect to them tend to flounder and die like so much dying flounder. If I were an animal, I wouldn’t want to be an animal whose species was synonymous with total failure. Just for the record.

There was a brief period of time when special effects guru Stan Winston was inspired by the groundbreaking artistry and production of McFarlane Toys, and went into business making original characters as action figures. These included a beautiful set of six of cat warriors (called Realm of the Claw, which even attempted, and failed, at becoming a comic book) and a questionable line of b-movie monsters and future-warriors, but after three waves of his figures ending up in the 2-dollar bargain bin at Toys ‘R’ Us, the company backed slowly away and redirected their attentions back into special effects. Hasbro had a line of wonderful figures known as Xevoz, composed entirely of generic and blocky characters with completely interchangeable parts. With robots, vampires, dragons, ninjas, scorpions and mantids and so on, the possibilities were expansive and exciting… but again, the line faded and died without the proper narrative support.

Companies have been making great original concepts into toys, but the only arena in which this seems to be completely successful is the specialty market section - small shops, excluding the Targets and Wal-Marts and Kay Bees of the world. Using this principle, the rockstar sculpting and design team of the Four Horsemen hatched a nefarious plan.

In 2005, the Four Horsemen began widespread internet polls throughout the span of action figure websites, all to determine the perfect original action figure, which they would then produce and market on their own. Presenting the audience with a large collection of sketches and concepts and characters and weapons, each aspect of the figure was voted on over a period of months, and at the end of voting, the Four Horsemen determined that the perfect action figure series would be a collection of warrior animals, called the 7th Kingdom. This set became produced under the name of ‘FANtastic Exclusive 2006′, and the first set, called the Mynothecean Six, were all of the bovine persuasion.

The six figures were divided up amongst six different internet retailers, and sold for about twenty dollars each. In addition to this, the Four Horsemen’s store also sold a very limited number of the full set of six.

This year, we have the Anitherian Nine, and they’re composed of elephants, bulls, warthogs, hippos, and so on, each in their requisite warrior gear and clutching enormous weapons. They’re a perfect compliment to the previous animal warriors (and hell, even Stan Winston’s cat people), and they went on sale to Four Horsemen Forum members yesterday. Given the fact that last year’s set can scarcely even be found on eBay at the moment, I’d venture to say that these are going to be significantly hot. Especially for those of us who have always known that an elephant would look so totally kickass holding a sword but have been unable to explore this theorem without getting thrown out of the zoo. Nobody shares my vision.

If you choose to purchase these separately, they’re divided up as follows :

- Ramathorr, the Elephant Swordsman will be sold at the San Diego Comic Con by the Four Horsemen themselves, as well as the Four Horsemen’s online shop, Store Horsemen.
- The Hammer of Gholl, a grey elephant, is being sold by Diamond Comics, which means you’ll have to visit your local comic shop or wait for these to appear at various internet retailers who use Diamond to get their products. This is limited to 500 pieces.
- The Mace of Broggah, an orange elephant, will be sold by October Toys and Toy Break, as well as the San Diego Comic Con at booth #4938. It is limited to 300 pieces.
- The Club of Thraugnn, a red elephant, is being sold by Fwooshnet, and is limited to 300. but availability and pricing have not yet been announced.
- The Shield of Draumm, a hippo, is being sold by Raving Toy Maniac, and is limited to 400 pieces.
- The Gauntlet of Vaskkh is a rhino, and is being sold by Action Figure Xpress, and also at their booth (#4513) during SDCC, and is limited to 700 pieces.
- The Helm of Xaanm, a warthog, is being sold by Big Bad Toy Store, and is limited to 500 pieces.
- Mutant Soldier Ggruxx, a green mutant, is being sold by Toy Rocket. It’s limited to 550 pieces, and will be sold only at SDCC also. Remaining pieces will likely be sold on their website.
- Mutant Soldier Ssejjhhorr, the red mutant, is being sold by Figures.com and is limited to 550 pieces.

While the set is pretty much a financial and logistical nightmare for completists, the figures are worth fighting for. And if you’re the type to speculate on the values of things, their limited quantities and relative obscurity will definitely be worth the investment.