With Christmas Eve only a few short weeks away, dreams of sugarplums and flying reindeer are on most everybody’s minds. Unfortunately, some people’s Christmas cheer has been tarnished by the most offensive of holiday-smashing problems: controversial Christmas tree ornaments. No, I’m not talking about pornaments (something tells me they’re deliberately controversial) — but other decorations created with innocent intentions but still bring about debate.

First, we’ve got this flashy ornament from that bastion of Christian ornamentation, Urban Outfitters. The ‘glittering gun‘ retails for $6, according to the UO website. They recommend you “bust a cap in your tree,” evoking grinchy responses from both gun control advocates and those who consider Christmas firearms an abomination. Needless to say, the Urban Outfitter website, at this time, is completely out of stock. Gun Christmas ornaments aren’t unheard of, whether individually or carried by GI Joe, but the controversial ’street cred’ of Urban Outfitter’s Christmas ornament and its limited availability will no doubt make it valuable.

The White House can’t be excused from a little Christmas controversy. The White House Historical Association releases an annual commemorative ornament dedicated to a president. This year’s honoree is Chester A Arthur, successor to the assasinated President Garfield. While the ornament itself has not caused controversy, the Historical Association’s accompanying notes on the President paint him in a poor light, calling Arthur a corrupt embezzler and noting that his “notable achievements as president were few.” Most people would agree that Arthur was far from notable, but, of course, his fans took exception to the derogatory history. The Albany Rural Cemetery Website, final resting place of President Arthur, has challenged the WHHA’s description, calling it a “disgrace.” As commemorative ornaments go, the White House ornaments are not widely known, but some online sellers are already advertising the 2006 ornament (available for $16 at the WHHA website) for twice as much.

Even regular traditions aren’t without controversy. I hadn’t heard of the ‘Christmas pickle’ until my wife introduced me to the tradition, and the source of the tradition seems to be in doubt. The tradition of hiding a single pickle ornament on the tree, the finder earning good luck and and extra gift, is believed to have originated in Germany, but some intrepid researchers believe the pickle tradition started here in the United States. The existence of pickle ornaments may extend back to the 16th century, but the tradition is rarely known in Germany yet well known in the US — hundreds of eBayers are selling pickle ornaments, some by the dozen (completely missing the pickle legend’s core). As far as controversy goes, this is a small one — lest there be an orthodoxy when it comes to German Christmases — but one that gets recalled every winter it seems. Modern glass pickle ornaments are quite common, but antique versions are less so. Mercury glass pickes aren’t common, and a single hand-blown pickle would add a dash of class to a tree decorated with antique ornaments…provided your Christmas guests can find it.

Going antiquing may not be as safe as you previously thought. Sure, carnival glass, chalkware figurines, and Barbies aren’t a huge threat to you and the people you love, but careless collectors have found themselves in dangerous propositions.

First, we have an absurdly random event: a few months ago, a teacher in Ventura, CA, tapped the 40mm shell paperweight he had on his desk — causing it to explode, losing part of his hand. While most of us know better than to pick up unexploded ammunition found while hunting near a military base, quite a few people might not think much of the howitzer round’s smaller cousins. An antique gun, kept with vintage ammunition nearby, could be equally dangerous and deadly. As gunpowder ages, there’s a chance that it might become unstable and sensitive to the same jolting the teacher gave his shell. A box of fifty year old bullets jostled a little too hard — or even due to a temperature or air pressure change — could still cause a bit of damage. Antique toy cap guns as well: caps contain a very small amount of explosive materials, but under the right circumstances they could cause a small fire. In general, anything containing gunpowder should be disposed of properly, and not kept as a collectible; historical or valuable shells can be rendered inert and reassembled to remove any danger.

Guns have an additional risk: the law. While the USA still has rather liberal gun ownership laws, other countries do not. Ireland recently held a gun amnesty period, allowing people to turn in their firearms before a stricter gun ownership law went into effect. This amnesty period netted a number of weapons, including crossbows, swords, and a musket. One gun owner, not wanting to run afoul of the law, turned in his grandmother’s antique pearl-handled pistol…only to realize the artifact probably had historical value. Like bullets emptied of their primer and powder, a gun can be deactivated and made unfireable. Even in the US, while laws protect much of gun ownership, there are still restrictions. Quite often, many people believe than an antique gun, even machine guns or large-bore firearms, are legal because they are collectible, but each individual state sets their own laws regarding fireable weapons. As with Ireland, knives, crossbows, and other lethal weapons are bound by various laws depending on locality. In college I knew a man who fell under legal scrutiny for owning a shuriken, or throwing star; he ordered it from a catalog, without realizing they were illegal at that time in his state. Collectors with a weapon in their collection should talk to the proper authorities to ensure that no lines are crossed that might cause a problem later.
Guns, knives, and crossbows, regardless of antique value, make moms everywhere click their tongues and wag fingers their children for wanting to own them: weapons have an obvious danger. However, a lot of antiques tend to go under the radar.

There are a number of materials that have long been abandoned by manufacturers, but are still around in collectibles. Lead paint, of course, is always a worry, as it may turn up in everything from toys to furniture. Asbestos was long used as a insulator against both heat and electricity. And — of all things — a number of collectibles are radioactive enough to set off Geiger counters, everything from bright Fiestaware colors to vaseline glass to radium-dial watches. The key to managing these is proper storage and handling. Radioactive dishware is safe enough to display, though not to be eaten off of. Many asbestos items are not degraded enough to become airborne and get into lungs, provided they are not overly worn nor being used on a regular basis. Lead paint can be varnished over to prevent flaking, or stored in a place to avoid casual contact that might cause paint to come loose.

Just because the electrical outlet hasn’t changed much in nearly a century, many people do not consider the dangers of plugging in antique electrical items to see if they work. A worn or frayed cord (which might contain asbestos; I refer you to the previous paragraph) could start an electrical fire very quickly, or cause a nasty shock. Using plastic to insulate electrical devices was not consistent or reliable until the 1960s, leaving plenty of exposed metal to pass electricity on to the nearest grounded object — most likely, your hand. Because older electrical objects had so much metal and asbestos in them, they might not even smoke until it is too late, causing a fire at the outlet due to circuit overload. Electrical items should be examined closely for fraying or loose wires before even considering putting power to the leads. More complex items should be opened up and examined internally, to look for dust, cobwebs, or loose parts that could cause a short or burn quickly if there is a problem. The good news is most electrical appliances older than the 1970s were relatively simple, and most people who can use a screwdriver can learn how to repair shorts and replace cords. The safest option is to leave a display appliance as a display — do not be tempted to test it out if you have no intention of ever using it, and you will avoid potential disaster.

I suppose a collector could stick to stamps, coins, and books, avoiding all risk, but where’s the fun in that? With a little foresight, common sense, and understanding, even the most dangerous of antiques can be handled and kept without ever risking life and limb. The first step is to recognize and acknowlege that just because something is old doesn’t mean it doesn’t have its own dangers. By learning how to handle, care for, and repair antiques, a collector profits from their newfound knowledge, regardless of any risks in owning their collection. But, as always, be careful: you don’t want to end up as a quirky news story someday!