Elvis

It seems whenever we go shopping at thrift stores and antique malls, there’s one thing which we see over and over again during our visit. Ratting around Saturday, we went to the Moorhead Antique Mall, where the item du jour was large flocked animal nodders.

Seriously large, these flocked animals with nodding heads were easily 9 to 12 inches long. There was this vintage German Shepherd Dog with collar and chain who greeted us on the way in — he was an omen, even if I didn’t snap the pic until our way out. (Hey, you don’t know what the item du jour is until you see them multiple times — which is why I missed taking photos of a few of the other large nodder dogs.)

Large Vintage German Shepherd Flocked Nodder

To give you an idea of the size of these nodders, here’s a small (or regular sized — because these are the size nodders I am used to) tiger nodder, next to the daddy of tiger nodders.

Pair of Vintage Tiger Nodders

I love how the large tiger nodder roars. He also has a collar and chain leash. (I have to say, the chains on both the tiger and the dog nodders seemed too shiny to me; but I didn’t inspect them carefully or anything.)

Large Vintage Roaring Tiger Nodder

However, the piece de resistance of the day’s nodders was this large flocked cat bank nodder — yes, you read that correctly, it is both a bank and a nodder. Perhaps it is a possible theft deterrent — the nodding a subtle clue to someone handling your bank. But really, there’s no need for a reason; it’s just 100% fabulous.

Large Flocked Vintage Cat Nodder Bank

It would have been mine, but I don’t have $39.99 in my regular non-nodding bank. :sigh:

Later we went to the local Salvation Army thrift store and found not one, but two paintings of Elvis on velvet.

The first was framed, with a cost of $9.

Framed Elvis on Velvet

The second was not framed, for $5.

Velvet Painting of Elvis

Truth be told, I’ve long been looking for a cheap Elvis on velvet painting for our bathroom, decorated in religious icons; but I hesitated and hubby gave the sour puss, ending the discussion with a “there’s no more wall space” comment. But if either is there tomorrow while he’s at work… Well, every throne room needs a king.

Then again, maybe I should save my pennies for that cat nodder bank.

As it turns out, January 8th was probably one of the High Holy Music Holidays, if you’re the sacrilegious type. Such a day would likely be celebrated by mildly obscene gyrations and a liberal application of glittery eye makeup. Why? Because it’s the shared birth date of two of music’s greatest revolutionaries – Elvis Presley and David Bowie. Sure, Stephen Hawking shares the same birth date, but I’ve never seen HIM strum a quantum singularity and make the ladies weep. Elvis would be 72.

Elvis, as Deanna has mentioned once before, is probably one of the most collected human beings in history (or else why would they make this Elvis Collecting Software?), with many rooms across the US (often owned by eclectic older ladies wearing airbrushed Elvis sweatshirts, making sporadic appearances on morning shows on slow days) festooned with photographs, rare signatures, framed LPs and sheets of stamps displayed on walls, and perhaps a shred of precious Elvis-DNA dusted fabric in a glass case. He’s one of the closest things that us mortals has to a deity – a horde of people utterly in his sway, and apparently living long beyond his natural life. You know, if you’re to believe the off-kilter propaganda and the grassy-knoll-style hunt for clues to contradict that Elvis Presley was, in fact, made of skin and bones and methamphetamines.

Genuine artifacts from within his lifetime, which are rare or in well-guarded private collections, can fetch ridiculous amounts of money and publicity. In March 2005, eBay saw a copy of Elvis’ ‘Milk Cow Blues Boogie‘ 78 sell for about $2400, and a single 1956 trading card from Topps sold for about $1500. Items that were actually in contact with Elvis can apparently deflect bullets and give the possessor the ability to conjure obedient dinosaurs from beneath the Earth’s crust. I mean, they’re not usually obedient, but as soon as they see that you’ve got a swatch of Elvis’ outfit from Jailhouse Rock, they’re gonna listen. Such is the power of Elvis.

A worn belt? $66,000. A chest x-ray? $2500. It’s the divide between appreciating a celebrity for their talent and wanting to posses an actual piece of the being that was the holder of that talent.

Those things which were produced after his death still seem to be quite collectible, with every scrap of Elvis-related memorabilia adding to the collected energy of that not-so-secret shrine you’ve been building in the upstairs guest bedroom. McFarlane Toys produced a whole series of Elvis mini-statues, detailing his appearances in various stages of his life and in films. Also, of course, was the senses-shattering fat Elvis vs. skinny Elvis stamp debate of 1992.

It’s kind of difficult to determine where to begin and where to end when collecting celebrity paraphernalia. Does it theoretically start with magazine clippings and end with toenail clippings? CQ bloggers have mentioned this before, but man, does it get creepier than that.

Does one need a genuine artifact from Cynthia Plaster Caster? You can look that up yourself. I’m not touching it. Literally. It was Piero Manzoni who actually canned his own… leavings…. and sold them to art buyers at the same cost as the value of gold. He’s quoted as saying, “If collectors really want something intimate, really personal to the artist, there’s the artist’s own s***”, and he’s not entirely incorrect. And yes, people have installed devices in celebrity hotel bathrooms to capture such artifacts.

Nevertheless, Elvis festoons everything, everywhere, for all time. I’m barely aware of Elvis in my daily life, and yet, in a casual perusal of my hideously overcluttered and potentially dangerous room, I’ve come across two Elvis items that I don’t even remember collecting… like some unseen force in the Elvis Conspiracy is slipping these things into everyday situations to preserve the presence and mystery of The Sacred Elvis. Of course, I have the Jailhouse Rock action statue (5th in an ongoing series that has 6, so far), and the Gail Brewer-Giorgio book, ‘Is Elvis Alive?‘, which presents an Elvis-is-alive theory based on a certain audiotape confession made in 1981. This theory seems far more rational than the alternative ones that involve time travel, alien interventions and subterranean kingdoms, but still – very difficult to take seriously. I think if you looked hard enough, you might find very palpable proof that I’m the Indefatigable Queen of Venus (the least of which is my old screen name, VenusQueen4EVA).

If I came across Elvis inspecting a pineapple at the grocery store? If he said hello to me while I stared curiously at him? Yeah, I’d probably go weak-kneed and rush off to the cereal aisle to gather myself, stumbling over the Count Chocula display on the way – and I’m not even an Elvis fan. I tried to be, but probably not hard enough. Secretly, you’d think it was awesome too.