I’ve mentioned green ear, so it seems no surprise that I should bring up another toy side that’s easy to despise… The smell of teeny-tiny scented plastic dolls. Charmkins, to be precise.

Charmkins were made by Hasbro, Inc. in the 80’s, and like the original Polly Pocket made by Bluebird Toys (made at the end of the decade), the dolls were very small (at or under an inch). Unlike the Polly Pocket dolls, Charmkins were designed to be worn — and to smell. Sold as “scented jewelry playmates” each piece had a loop at the top of the head & a hole in the bottom so that it could be attached to a piece of jewelry (a necklace, hair ribbon, ring etc.), thus creating an endless array of accessories — or, in many cases, an endless array of plastic bits lost at home and in public places.

And they were scented.

I can only imagine the number of dogs who ate these little bits of scented plastic, unceremoniously dumping them in backyards throughout America.

Being too old to play with Charmkins when they debuted, I discovered them at a rummage sale last weekend. In a play case, properly known as the Charmkins Jewelry Carrying Case. I was intrigued enough to buy them. As predicted, not all the dolls or charms are with their original jewelry accessory, but I was able to identify each piece.

Brown-Eyed Susan (the first one) & her Ribbon Choker
Flower Godmother ChrysantheMum
Blossom
Petal Pusher
Half-An-Inchworm (no ID tag, but wears the pink key chain from Petal Pusher)
Sweet Bea and Honey Bee (no necklace)
Petal Pink Puppy & Ring
Morning Glory & her Bow-tie Barrette
Lily Belle
2 Lady Slippers
My Pixie Pony (who looks too much like Hasbro’s My Little Pony to be accidental)
Dragonweed Mail Order Charmkin
a pink picnic table (likely from the Whippoorwill Flower Mill play set)
and a pink chord with pendant clip

The Charmkins enjoyed the sweet smell of success, inspiring stickers, games, bedding, etc. — and, of course, The Charmkins Sniffy Adventure, a scratch-n-sniff book. They were even popular enough to spawn an animated Charmkins cartoon; just one episode.

Did I mention they were scented?

Having been stored together the past two decades, the scents are no longer distinguishable from one another, but each had it’s own scent.

The past two decades have not diminished their scent much. I think. Up until now I have had no experience with Charmkins. But thanks to my dedication to readers of this blog, my hands now smell of Charmkins.

And it’s not as charming as you might think, or, to you 20-somethings reading this, as you remember. In fact, I’ll go on record as saying the scent might be toxic; I have an enormous headache that I cannot get rid of. And I have to wonder just how smelly you were as a kid.

Ooh, ooh that smell
Can’t you smell that smell?
Ooh, ooh that smell
The smell of Charmkins surrounds you.

[Please read back here, here and here for previous articles about this year’s Toy Fair, for all of its weirdnesses and delights!]

By now, I’d seen the fancy DC Comics dolls over at the immaculate (but welcoming) Tonner booth, but I had other DC figures in mind - and I knew that they could be found at the showrooms of DC Direct and Mattel.

DC Direct is Time-Warner’s in-house DC Comics merchandising group and toy company. DCD makes action figures, prop replicas, statues, Minimates and other great comic items, all aided by the benefit of having original reference materials and current comic artists at their immediate disposal. They are, after all, the source. They’re responsible for a large number of artist-specific and story-specific action figures, which number over 60 each year, created in (unnumbered) limited editions. While you won’t usually find a DC Direct action figure at your Toys ‘R’ Us, you can find them in comic shops and mall entertainment shops, usually at a price of around $15 per figure. They’re a great company if you want the newest bad guy from a recent and major story arc, but they don’t normally address figures like ‘the most iconic Batman’ in a 6” scale. They will, however, give you a Batman drawn by every notable Batman artist in the past 30 years.

Walking the line between ‘action figures’ and ‘dolls’ is the 13” figure line. These feature large, articulated bodies in cloth costumes, and unlike the small figures, these DO successfully capture characters at their most iconic and recognizable, often also accessorizing them with a bevy of weapons, removable parts and packaging them in a beautiful window box. Past offerings in this size have included over a dozen characters, including Batman, Superman, Robin, Catwoman, Martian Manhunter, Flash, Green Lantern, Aquaman, Captain Marvel, Lex Luthor, Two Face and more. Future offerings include The Joker, Harley Quinn, Green Arrow and Bizarro - but the only new announcement for this line during Toy Fair was a re-release of the original, rare Green Lantern figure, which has reached over $300 on eBay since it was released. This new edition will have a slightly different costume, as well as four interchangeable heads, including the basic Hal Jordan mug - with notable GLs Abin Sur and Tomar Re, as well as new fish-headed GL NautKeLoi, rounding out the variety. Sure, these figures are a little too big to fit in next to your 1/6th Sideshow toys, but they’re still fine enough to pass muster as their own thing.

A Wonder Woman figure has been on the drawing board for this line for over two years, with one undecided factor being whether or not she’ll have rooted hair, like a Barbie, or have sculpted hair. I put in my vote for sculpted hair as I spoke to a designer, and everyone else in the showroom chimed in and agreed. I’ve seen my niece’s Barbie-fros, and it would be an unbecoming look for a warrior princess. Plus, the appearance and manufacture of the series’ women should be consistent, and all have had sculpted hair thus far.

We will be getting a large Wonder Woman, though, as a Museum Scale statue. The most eye-catching thing in the showroom was this epic piece, with Wonder Woman standing at roughly 18” tall, wielding weapons and clothed in real fabrics. It’s a beautiful work of art, and it will accompany the previously released Superman and Batman Museum Scale statues. It’s not articulated, but it doesn’t need to be. It’s a statue.

Next to her was a 1/2 scale (or, 50% smaller than actual size) Joker bust, which was another impressive and alluring (and slightly creepy) item, designed to accompany the previous Batman bust, also done in the same scale. Both feature details that are luminous and eerily human in person, but photography flattens them. Until you can see the statue’s pores shift in the light, it’s hard to communicate the level of detail in these. Batman’s stubble looks real enough to shave. Or caress, depending on just how you feel about stubble and / or Batman.

And then, we come to the regular action figure lines. 2008 will see the last wave of Alex Ross’ Justice line, rounded out with Supergirl, Captain Cold, Toyman and Batgirl. I’m still geeked out about the Jack Kirby New Gods figures, as well as the line of four ‘Showcase’ figures, which pull from the whole history of DC Comics for favorite artists’ works to turn into figures - including the Superman with three alternate, wacky heads that show the effects of red Kryptonite.

Newly-announced in the All-Star line, which pulls images from both ‘All-Star Batman’ and ‘All-Star Superman’ comics. This line will have the first two Frank Quitely designed figures ever created, those being of Superman and a super-powered Lois Lane. Also in the line will be another Batman and Batgirl, drawn by Jim Lee.

Also newly announced is another wave of ‘Secret Files’ figures, comprised of four Bat-villains : Hugo Strange (in a Batman costume, with an optional Batman head), Poison Ivy, Two Face and a tropical Joker from ‘The Killing Joke’. Slight variations of this Joker and Batman will also be released together in a ‘Killing Joke’ box set, along with a copy of the comic of the same name. Summer convention exclusives promise to be further variants of the same.

It’s also worth noting that DCD has announced a Huntress bust for their second series of ‘Women of the DC Universe’ bust series, all designed by Terry Dodson. The first series, all designed by Adam Hughes, ended at the end of 2007 after a dozen great busts - some of which are worth three times the initial sale price. There are also new Ame-Comi figures happening, based on Donna Troy, Poison Ivy, Hawkgirl, and Zatanna - if you’re into that anime thing.

Here’s some news for World of Warcraft fans : we saw the third wave of figures but weren’t permitted to photograph them. They were great, and the line of four has TWO female figures in it - so run out and buy your Blood Elf chick from the first series now! I’m not a WoW kinda guy, but I like warrior women. My complete collection of Xena DVDs agrees with me.

And Minimates fans, nothing new was on display. Rumor has it that these amazing little guys won’t make it past an 8th wave, which breaks my little plastic heart. If you like them as much as I do, make some noise. It’s a great line, it plays well with others, and the character depth is stellar. I mean, AMBUSH BUG.

[Click here for the full DC Direct Gallery in our Community!]

[Click here for the full Mattel Gallery in our Community!]

After we saw DC’s showrooms, we made our way over to Mattel, who hold the other major component of the DC Comics characters licensing. Mattel takes a different approach to making figures than DCD, so there seems to be enough room for both companies to coexist - inasmuch as Mattel DOES go for the most iconic character appearance possible, and uses a broader selection of recognizable characters that fans have asked for, regardless of current appearances within the comics. Mattel also super-articulates their figures so that they’re very posable (wherein DC Direct uses minimal articulation), and use a build-a-figure system where one can build a 6th, bonus figure if you collect all 5 of the basic figures in a set.

These DC Universe Classics didn’t come with many new announcements, but the display of the next dozen 6” characters was exciting. Wave 1 has been on store shelves for a few months now, and Wave 2 will include Aquaman (modern and classic), Red and Blue Superman (from a brief period a few years ago when he changed his costume), Firestorm (modern and classic), Black Manta, and Harley Quinn, and with parts from 5 of these, you can build a huge Gorilla Grodd. Wave 3 will include Nightwing, Robin, Sinestro (modern and classic), Deathstroke (masked and unmasked), and Hal Jordan Green Lantern. Get five of these together and you can make a huge Solomon Grundy. The makeup of future waves was not yet revealed, but Cyborg and Wonder Woman are definitely in the mix, as 2-up sculptures were displayed of them.

I was surprised by the sudden announcement of the ‘DC Universe Infinite Heroes’ line - a collection of small 3.75” figures spanning an unusual and diverse range of characters. While these little guys don’t yet come close to matching the quality of the large figures, they do seem to have appropriately simple sculpts with basic details, about ten points of pivoting articulation, and hearken back to the classic days of collecting from my youth. Their small size will allow for a larger range of characters to be made in a shorter time, and they’ll also be in scale with your Star Wars and GI Joe guys. That Han Solo / Flash smackdown that you’ve been praying for is about to happen. The reaction to the line has been very mixed, but I’m waiting to see the final product before I pass any kind of summary judgment, as most of the items on display were prototypes. No matter what, I’m getting a Bizarro out of it. Some of the other surprising figures in the lineup were Commissioner Gordon, Mirror Master, Thanagarian Warriors, Black Adam, Batwoman, The Question, and Hush - all of whom are usually second-tier characters at best, and don’t often (if ever) appear as figures.

Barbie collectors, note that a new Black Canary and Supergirl Barbies will be coming out, also! These should sit comfortably with the previously released DC Heroine Barbies of Poison Ivy, Wonder Woman, Supergirl, and Harley Quinn. All of which are in my closet. Don’t laugh.

Mattel has also made action figures for the upcoming Batman movie, The Dark Knight. While the ‘Movie Masters’ line is meant to appeal to the adult collector with a fixation on accuracy and display, a secondary line will feature the requisite Batman in a handful of impractical, brightly-colored armors with action features. Hello, Ice Lobster Helicopter Rescue Batman! Despite the recent death of Heath Ledger, the actor who played the Joker in this movie, it’s reported that the action figure in his likeness will still be released at this time. I can’t help but wonder what the initial eBay hysteria will be like.

Finally, the kid-friendly Super Friends line doesn’t seem to have anything new to add to it either, as the most recent figures of Cyborg and Hawkman are just now trickling out onto shelves, with nothing more planned. A vehicle or two is on the way, and a series of plush dolls - but nothing too noteworthy for the collector. Cuddleworthy, yes.

These two companies are surely holding off on a few big reveals until April’s New York Comic Con, since most of the ‘new’ information was already a few weeks old. Here’s my vote for ‘Doom Patrol’ anything.

Stay tuned on Saturday for toys from your favorite non-comic book forms of entertainment - if you’re entertained by Hellboy and Heroes. Which I am.

The following scans come from a set of Wards catalog pages (saved by a crafter and part of those huge auction lots we bought). None of the pages have any date, however, it’s pretty clear these dolls are from the late 60’s.

Li’L Miss Fussy: She kicks & cries until you change her diaper. I guess it’s realistic & teaches little girls all about the demands of a baby, but noisy, noisy, noisy. My guess is Li’L Miss Fussy would have been kickin’ and screamin’ in the bottom of my toy box.

Suzy Homemaker Doll: Talk about preparing girls for their futures, Suzy teaches your girl just how long and painful the beauty process is… Wigs, falls, wash her hair, dry her hair, put on makeup, coloring her hair, give her a manicure — I wonder if it comes with instructions not to share makeup & wigs with friends’ dolls due to lice and infections? Anyway, the Suzy Homemaker name seems a tad contradictory given that homemakers do not spend their days at the beauty parlor… But (as seen on TV!), these Deluxe Reading dolls (Topper Toys) also had more domestic skilled accessories too.

Tammy Tears & Baby Tammy Tears: Wards’ Exclusives, these dolls do the predictable crying but at least they don’t urinate.

Tubsy: No, she’s not called ‘Tubsy’ because she’s plump; she’s ‘Tubsy’ because she kicks and splashes when you put her in water — and she comes with her own bathtub. I’ve never seen a Tubsy doll, but I’d like to see a water-activated doll that plays in the water instead of peeing & crying. (Not to mention, Tubsy is supposed to stop when she’s out of the water.)

Baby Chatterbox: Turn the bow on her back and “She laughs! She talks!” Along with talking, Baby Chatterbox moves her arms, head and legs and can open & close her eyes. A 14 inch doll for just $6.99 sure opens my eyes.

Cindy: Another Wards’ exclusive, Cindy came with a wardrobe trunk, clothes, a grooming set, and “puffs”. If you know what puffs are, please do tell; for now, I’m assuming they are of the cheese variety.

If I seem to dislike the baby dolls, well, it could be that I knew that childhood would be brief, so why waste it pretending to do the things I would later be forced to do? Or it could be because I really only played with one doll… It was my sister’s doll and I cut the hair to have a baby boy, Timmy. And then I was rather terrified my sister would kill me. Moving on… Let’s see about the other dolls — the less work, more fun, dolls.

Liddle Kiddles: I had a few of the Liddle Kiddles, though not these exact dolls. I love the names/themes: Soapy Siddle and bath set, Liddle Diddle in crib with duck, Surfy Skiddle and surf board, Freezy Sliddle and sled, Windy Friddle pilots plane, and Trikey Triddle has a trike with training wheels (hey, I’m copying the ad; but I don’t think trikes have training wheels — but it’s pretty clear this batch of Kiddles was focused more on the rhyming names).

Lucky Locket Kiddles: Now these I had! I don’t remember any of us wearing the lockets — or even saving those. But the Kiddles themselves were everywhere!

Baby Peewee Twins: Are clearly Fraternal.

Peewees: “4-in folks in Wards Wee-Keeper rack.” What else can I say

Pocketbook Dolls: I don’t remember these at all either… Heidi, Spunky & Pip? I know I’d remember a 5.5 inch doll with Mrs Beasley glasses.

Bottle Babies: “It’s fun to collect… Bottle Babies!” It’s also creepy to display Bottle Babies.

Barbie Goes BRANIFF!: Scream it with me now, “All 4 stewardess outfits designed by Emilio Pucci!” Just look at that “bubble top” which “keeps her hairdo perfect on the way to the plane” — apparently, Barbie knows what Suzy Homemaker knows.

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No, they’re not action figures, they’re Sport Star Statues. Eight inches tall, they feature such sport legends that only last names are needed for identification. (Apparently, the guy selling them was also equally famous for you send your $2.98 to “Manny”.)

Wooden Polly Dolls: Reproductions of an antique doll — for a whopping $15! (This has to be for the ritzy folks!)

Christmas shelf-sitting trolls. Like those elves we all love, only more for the bingo-going crowd. At just $1 for a pair, I wonder why I haven’t yet had the pleasure of seeing such dolls at thrift stores…

What could be more luxurious than putting cocoa on your face? Hershey’s cocoa and all-vegetable oil! I don’t think they should have sold this in a box and called them ‘cakes’ of soap… Me thinketh quite a few of these were mistaken for a box of chocolates…

Ah, pocket handwarmers. I spy these in huge numbers at rummage sales & given my cold mid-west climate, I’ve always wondered why I don’t grab one… Oh yeah, the notion of pockets full of lighter fluid which are supposed to keep you warm - without a flame? My (cold) tukus! Well, then again, you can burn $5 without a flame buy purchasing one of these babies and warm a heart at holiday time. (Incidentally, they run about the same price at thrift stores, yard sales and even antique shops now.)

Put your own photo on a puzzle — in the 60’s?! Hey, if the technology’s been around that long, why doesn’t it still only cost us a buck or two?

Gads, my BFF in high school, Mary, her dad had one of these. Green foam with lines, yippie! Boy we made fun of that. …Or maybe it was the white patent leather shoes and matching belt? If this game helped improve skill and wit, I wonder how much her dad started with?

I knew folks were drinking plenty of wine in the 60’s (you had to wash your uppers down with something), but making it themselves? I thought only hippies did that — and with their feet yet. But for less than $10 you can get this kit and make 25 bottles of wine. I have no idea if that’s cheaper than the 25 bottles of store-bought wine… But hey, if it’s a gift, they got it for free.

Can you really put a price on what mom does? Well, at holiday you need to, so spend $1.25 and get her this rooster kitchen gadget. The rooster egg timer is a thoughtful gift which reminds mom that she’s best stop ironing now and bring you your egg, damnit!

For some reason, there are far more dolls and girly ads in the classified section. Perhaps it’s because moms can scan and shop while the egg timer’s running? Here are two gems for girls.

An advertisement for Barbie and her “crew-cut boyfriend” Ken. Somehow, that just sounds mocking. But hey, Babs did eventually dump the dude. This ad tells the shopper to find the “Fashion Paks” at major stores. (Hey, mom needs to get a refill of doctor approved uppers at the pharmacy anyway.)

The next girls toy ad is for Singer’s Trimhandy. This toy looks like a sewing machine, but cuts paper instead. I don’t know if it will “stir” and interest in sewing or not, but it should teach any member of the nursery set to keep their fingers clear of the up-and-down thingy on any similar looking item.

These duck decoys are for decorative purposes only & it is advised that you turn them into “lamps, bookends, etc.” I guess that’s the company’s way of saying they won’t fool anyone, let alone a duck. But, when you’re desperate for a gift for Uncle Simon, well, here ya go.

I saved this one for last because it surprised me. The Sound Conditioner by C. P. Electronics is a “transistorized, batter-powered electronic instrument which creates a tranquil environment for the subconscious mind.” Dude, that’s a white noise machine! Or maybe it sounded like ocean waves or something… Anyway, it’s an ad for something I didn’t think existed until the 80’s — and in true psychedelic 60’s fashion, it uses the word “subconscious”. Dude! Psychedelic + Subconscious + Transistorized = $88. In 1965 dollars that must have been mind blowing all on its own.

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Looking for Kitschy crafts to scan I found myself shopping for children’s toys — in 1962’s Today’s Woman Christmas Ideas magazine (1962). So now you do too.

Toys… Toys… Toys! is a six page spread in this very dated publication. Here are a few of my favorite finds.

Up first, infants. And every child, and dog, loves a squeaky rubber toy — but Mittens, by Arrow Rubber, has even more to love. She’s got a sculpted “fluffy” coat (look ma, no pet allergies!), her neck is jointed so she can turn and look at baby while you sleep (baby will forever stay awake with fear — even after she figures out how to close kitty’s eyes), and when pressed gently, she purrs. She originally sold for $2.98; now she’s between $30 - $65 at antique shops online and off. (I imagine the box would sell for more than the sticker said too.)

For kids aged two to four, we’ve got some ambulatory toys. You know, the kind of toys that get toddlers moving — all the way to the emergency room.

Blaze the bouncy hobby horse whinnies, neighs, and talks too. That’ll scare Joe right off this bucking devil pony. Which is likely the safest thing to do as we all know the bouncy horses were never, as Mattel states here, “untippable.” Blaze was priced at $48 (as hubby and I say, “That’s a lot of money back now!”), however he can be found for free curbside at spring clean-ups. (Just the price of your own elbow grease to remove the rust & blood from Blaze’s springs.)

Ride ‘Er Wrecker Truck, by Structo, seems a bit safer — that is until you realize that crank winch will be knocked into every leg in the house — from the wooden furniture’s to your own — making mommie one cranky wench. Ah, but it’s 1962… Martini’s are in the fridge. The truck is almost two feet long, so priced at $6.95, that’s almost $3.48 per foot. Now, should you find one, you’ll be hitting the martini’s again — this truck can sell for $50 per foot.

Also found on this page is the classic children’s board game, Candy Land, by Milton Bradley. The game was invented decades earlier, but I still like to look at it. Sold here for 98 cents, this version of the game isn’t likely to be found with the box intact or all of its original pieces. And the game board will likely look old as hell. But then again, so do those of us who were kids in the 60s. If you do luck into this version of the game, give me a holler.

For children aged six to eight we have gender stereotypes! (I must admit, this is my favorite!)

This one page has a total of four toys, and only one of them is for girls. To distract us, they’ve put the one girly toy at the top and super-sized it.

While little boys get Jeep Surreys and Magnastix (yes, those were ‘boy toys’ — everyone knows those metal bits just become launched at one another in ‘war’ games, or at annoying female cousins), lucky girls like Susan get to take messages and gripe to their girlfriends, preparing them for their future lives as wives. I assume this is why there is plenty of storage space; Susan knows she’ll need someplace to put her uppers & downers. It’s one holiday gift sure to make mom cry when it’s opened. Who can put a price on self-esteem? Remco can! Originally this desk set sold for $14.95 (plus the cost of batteries); now finding the complete set will likely set you back three times that.

The other niffty kids gifty on this page is the Paper Popper by Daisy. This space-agey looking gun had paper ammo making it a poor weapon in the Fahrenheit 451 war. It sold for $2.98 & now, in a box with ammo, you could be looking at prices that would make your eyes pop.

Then again, I have no idea what would make your eyes pop…

Unless it’s some more of the recommended toys for girls and boys (ages eight to ten).

Once again we have four suggested toys, with three clearly for the boys. But this time they aren’t going to fake it that the girls matter — and why should they? By eight every little girl should be lucky she still has her job taking massages for her male kin — while dodging paper ammo from the Paper Pooper (no, that’s not a typo).

Should you think your little girl deserves another present, then she’s probably one of those smart career gals. Or just really pretty so she’s got you wrapped around her finger. Either way, perhaps she’d make an excellent stewardess, like this Annette doll. What am I saying?! Of course it matters if she’s pretty or smart! Airlines don’t hire the ugly girls, you know. Annette, by Goldberger, is 11 inches tall, “but she is a grown-up, jointed doll with rooted hair and full formed body.” If that sounds like daddy’s little girl, then, shame on you. Annette sold for $4.98 — the doll, that is. I have no idea what these dolls — or Annette — would sell for now. (If you’ve got one of these retro stewardess dolls, please show her off in the community — I’d love to see her!)

Ah, now we travel from the battle of the sexes to the cold war with this Code Broadcaster Kit by General Electric. Perfect for geeks, this kit allows youngsters to transmit code over a one-transistor electric circuit. This, and other smart-toy-sets by GE, sold for $3.98 each; and they fit together to create the “grand science experiment console”. So neat, I’d actually like to get me one of these. I’d at least like to see one… They do not exist — never have — according to Google. So if you have info, or one of these sets, please show it off!

On the last page, we find gifts for kids over ten years of age. Sadly, not even one toy is ‘girly’ — I can only imagine that all female souls have sensibly withered away or taken to pilfering her men-folk’s stash of toys while he’s out playing team sports.

My favorite toy here is the awesome & ironic electric greenhouse by Westinghouse. Gifts from Westinghouse always scream, “Let’s have fun!” to me anyway, but when someone says there’s a heating circuit embedded in the plastic foam base, well, How-dy!

It looks so much like those steam set roller sets; just add water, plug it in and let those drops sizzle on your skin when you open the lid.

That’s $12.95 of melty joy, sure to make the Easy Bake Oven look like a sissy. Another toy which Google denies the existence of, but let’s face it, this baby was doomed for so many reasons. Heating seeds to the point of sterility, The Little Garden has become the secret garden no one will ever make into a musical production.

Well, if I had one, I might. The theme song would be “Toys… Toys… Toys!” and I would dedicate it to Today’s Woman, of 1962.