Yesterday, when I went into work, I discovered that someone had donated over 150 vinyl 45s to the library, ranging from old vocal bands to The Beatles to Ted Nugent. This might sound like a collector’s dream come true, but then I discovered that they were donated in a giant, black garbage bag. Full of dirt. Without sleeves. And were dragged across the parking lot. In short, these poor records were lynched.

Please don’t ever do this to your records. Please. I don’t do this to your first edition books, or your Hummel figurines, or your children. To a record collector, it was essentially a murder scene.

I gathered up the bag, informed my boss that I was going to take them home and try to rehabilitate them, and I’d get back to her with the results. I could already tell from the layers of filth and depth of the scratches, as well as the various records that had already been cracked in half, that they were probably destined for an unceremonious dumpster burial, but I kinda just had to try.

Now audiophiles are an ultra-sensitive bunch, especially where records are concerned. They’ll keep their collections at precise temperatures, they’ll build copper distilleries to bottle quadruple-ionized water to clean their discs with, and they’ll spout incomprehensibly about sonic oscillator waves. I just likes me some music. As a result of this audiophile obsessery and easy access to the internet, everyone has their own theories about how to clean records best.

While the most common method of cleaning off lightly soiled records is the use of slightly soapy water and a light brush, there are certainly those theorists that surmise that undistilled water will leave behind mineral traces in the grooves of the disc, and that soap will just generally get in there and have all kinds of drunken, debaucherous parties and mess the place up in general. Using small amounts of alcohol is also both recommended and frowned upon, because while alcohol can act as a solvent, it will also leech out the oils within the vinyl. Less oil in the grooves means less lubrication for the needle, which means increased friction, which means increased heat and damage. And don’t even think about using hot water. Heat is the mortal archenemy of vinyl.

Still, if you’re not about to shell out 25 bucks for one of the many specially prepared record cleaning solutions made from Serengeti lion’s blood and the tears of eight blind martyrs, you shouldn’t play dirty records. I’m not talking about Belle Barth - I’m talking actual, physical dirt. It’ll dull your all-important (and usually expensive) stylus, and any dirt that the stylus manages to pick up will only be dragged through successive grooves and carve them up like so many horror movie vixens. Audiophiles would have you believe that such mistreatment will actually cause black holes to form on the surface of the record which will eventually enlarge and destroy the universe, but I don’t know if there’s much truth to that.

So, with a bit of soap and water, I cleaned off a few of the records, and while they appear clean, they’re still fairly scratchy. Getting dragged across concrete in a plastic sack isn’t the best way to maintain your dignity and composure. Next time, at least put the damned things in a stack before you leave them on an unsuspecting doorstep. A few more passes should make them almost listenable and worth preserving digitally. For now, they sound like they were recorded in a tsunami.

May this never happen again.

Whether it’s a well-loved quilt, a collection of damask napkins or a cherished christening gown handed down through the generations, many families own items made of vintage textiles. However, over the years the fabric weakens and extra attention must be given to the care and storage of these special things to keep them looking their best.

Many people hesitate to wash their vintage fabrics for fear of damaging them, but with the right precautions, a vintage item can be successfully cleaned at home. Hand washing is the best option for delicate vintage textiles because the older fabric is weaker and can be damaged in a washing machine.

• First soak the fabric in water with a gentle detergent.
• After soaking, gently stir the item around.
• Rinse the fabric several times to make sure all detergent is gone.
• When removing the vintage textile from the water, lift it from the bottom. Do not grab a corner and pull it out, since the weight of the waterlogged fabric could cause the item to tear.

Stains come out easier when they’re new, so be sure to remove stains when they occur. Stain removers can be used, but when using a stain remover on a colorful fabric, test it first on a less obvious spot to make sure it doesn’t fade the color or make it run. Avoid using bleach, which is much too harsh for delicate vintage fabrics. Drying fabrics in the sun will help whiten them. Spread a white towel out on the grass, or a sheet for larger items, and lay the wet textile on top of it. Do not put the vintage textile in the dryer, which can damage it.

Follow this link for more information about cleaning vintage textiles, including recipes for removing difficult stains.

Check back here on Friday for Caring for Vintage Textiles Part II, with information about ironing and storing your vintage textiles or newer textiles you wish to preserve.

Until the mid 1900s, the kitchen was the undisputed heart of the home and most families, and mothers in particular, spent many hours in that room. From piecrust crimpers and apple corers to cookie cutters and potato mashers, a variety of tools were available to make kitchen chores easier. Many of these tools can still be found today at flea markets and antique malls and have attracted all sorts of collectors. With their bright colors and interesting shapes, kitchen collectibles are fun to look at and make great wall displays in the kitchen.

Many of the kitchen collectibles, such as butter paddles and dough boxes, were made from wood. Others were made entirely with metal such as cast iron apple peelers or wrought iron choppers. Still others were created with metal bodies and wooden handles. Some of the tools were for such obscure uses that it’s not unusual to come across an oddly shaped kitchen gadget that sends you searching through books to discover just what it is and what tasks it performed.

Until the 1920s, most kitchen tools with wooden handles were painted black. At that time, however, manufacturers began using bright, cheery colors on the handles. The economy was booming, and makers sought to attract buyers with color. Red and green were used most often, but other colors were employed as well. Brightly colored wooden handles remained popular until the 1950s, when plastic handles became more common for kitchen gadgets.

To keep your kitchen collectibles in good shape, be careful when washing them. You don’t want the wood to crack or the paint to peel. Do not put the kitchenware through the harsh environment of the dishwasher. Always wash the kitchen collectibles by hand with a gentle detergent, but do not allow the wood handles to soak. Make sure the kitchen collectibles are completely dry before storing them.

I’ve got a great collection of cake stands and serving platters that I love to pull out when we have friends over. The delicate engraving and sparkling crystal makes such a nice presentation, I think. Even if I’m just having a few moms over for coffee, setting a few cookies out on one of my pretty platters adds a special something.

I’ve built my collection by haunting antique malls and antique auctions. Estate sales often have beautiful cake stands and serving platters as well, and you never know what gems might turn up at flea markets, swap meets and yard sales. I look for unusual shapes and attractive details, like a sterling silver rim or pretty engraving. Before buying, I examine the piece carefully for flaws. I hold the piece up to the light to check for cracks and chips, then run my fingers lightly around the rim to make sure there aren’t any chips that have escaped my notice. I tend to go for glassware myself, buy I was given a great ceramic deviled eggs plate as a gift once, and I pull that out whenever I have a party. (I actually never used to serve deviled eggs until I got the platter, now I do just so I can show off my cute deviled eggs plate.)

I wouldn’t recommend using valuable glassware for everyday use, since it’s bound to be damaged eventually. Since this is a collection I’ve built to be used, I choose items in good shape, but stay away from rare, valuable platters.

To keep your glassware in good shape it should be hand washed, not put in the dishwasher. Take off any rings or bracelets that could damage the glass, and fill the sink with warm, soapy water. It’s a good idea to line the sink with a towel to prevent the glass knocking against the sink’s hard surface, especially if the glass is valuable. Don’t store your platter upside down, since that could scratch and damage the rim.