As a child born in 1981, I’m fairly certain that my exposure to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in all possible forms was inevitable – and like the retromutagen ooze that altered the Turtles’ lives so severely, I too would be impossibly changed, but far less athletic.
There would be animated Turtles, comic Turtles, Turtle pogs and action figures, and even the questionable times when our beloved terrapins stepped uncomfortably close to my own reality by becoming represented by giant foam costumes – both in cinematic features and in live action musical abominations at Radio City Music Hall. It happened, and I have the bootleg tape of it that I’d find years later, like some kind of secret nerd porn. A ballad from Master Splinter, and a rap from Michelangelo? It’s crazy enough to potentially kill you with the funk.
When the movies came along, we even accepted an origin story that didn’t match with the cartoons we loved – were the Ninja Turtles humans first, or were they turtles first? I’ve never been the biggest fan of live-action-ifying animated properties, as evidenced by the brain-stab that was Super Mario on Ice and the Flintstones movie, but these have a very hallowed place in pop cultural history, and they rightfully belong there. Half of them even have the involvement of Jim Henson’s Creature Shop, so as something of a Henson enthusiast (I even own the one action figure of him), this set of films fits into many little collection niches that I’m happy to fill – the least of which is my collection of ‘films so bad that they will either form eternal friendships or bitter enemies once endured together’. I’m looking at you, Rem Lezar.
This box set contains four TMNT DVDs, which span the first three live action TMNT movies from 1990 to 1993 and the recent animated film. These are all lovingly cradled in a zippered pouch with metallic manhole covers on either side. Inside are ten sleeves, not unlike those you’d find in your everyday CD holding case. Curiously, this leaves 16 completely empty spots to fill, which makes me wonder if the complete original animated series would fit securely into this carrier, or maybe that good ol’ Radio City bootleg. Regardless, there’s a ton of extra space, and I wonder if they’re trying to tell us something.
The set comes with a handful of interesting extra items, including a sheet of 8 temporary tattoos, and in an act of supreme awesomeness, a set of four eye masks, not unlike the ones that the Turtles wear, and color coded appropriately. All I need is three friends with no sense of shame.
The DVD extras on the first three films are fairly minimal and consist of trailers and small games, while the fourth, more recent film comes with all of the usual commentary & deleted scenes, storyboards and interviews. I’d have loved to hear the reminiscing that came with the first three movies and how much alcohol was consumed along the way to get some of the acutely embarrassing dialogue onto the big screen. I say this lovingly, of course.
I definitely can’t claim the same fervent devotion to the Turtles as some hardcore fans can, but I appreciate what they are. They’ve even been referenced in a David Byrne song, so how can they possibly be wrong? Great action figures, some truly exceptional video games, and a handful of goofy movies later, I still love the Turtles. It’s good to have this reunion.
