Batman’s Not-So-Sweet Ride
03.31.07 By Collin DavidBefore my recent exploration of Hot Wheels cars, I had little interest in them. Sure, when I was younger I’d build racetracks that would span from the upstairs to the down and careen vintage racecars into the baseboards like there was no tomorrow, but they were just things with wheels. And given my state of nervousness as a child, it was likely that I believed that there was, in fact, no tomorrow, so I had better get all my Hot Wheelin’ in TODAY.
I recently went in search of a 1/64th scale 1980s era Crown Victoria to use as reference for a comic I’ve been drawing. Seeing as how it’s a profoundly ugly model of the car, all angles and elbows, they weren’t present on the pegs of cars I found. What I did discover, however, was that 1/64th scale cars did not stop at Hot Wheels, and in fact were significantly augmented by the Matchbox Cars section around the corner. Hot Wheels, by comparison, were the Kate to the fine, sweet Bianca of Matchbox. Whereas Hot Wheels seem to focus on the occasional realistic car and quickly descend into cartoonish representations of novelty cars, Matchbox keeps it real. Realistic representations of real cars, from the VW van to the Minicooper, which was exactly what I needed for reference. Sure, they have their Snow Monster Mission Adventure Sets and kid-oriented lines of cars, but as far as my $1 goes, Matchbox is where it’s at. You can’t get ANYTHING cool for a buck anymore, unless it’s 4 bouncy balls from the egg machines in the supermarket or 1/10th of a movie. Give me the 1/10th with the nudity, please.
As it turns out, I already have a fairly significant resource of model cars that has remained untapped in the back of one of my closets. During a KB Toys clearance sale, I’d scooped up a whole mess of superhero branded cars, mostly because they had superheroes on them, they were cheap, and they were patently ridiculous. The basic premise of these cars (still being produced today by Maisto) is to take a car, slap some superhero designs onto it, and present it as a car that said hero (or villain) might drive around in, or maybe just someone who REALLY LIKES the Silver Surfer would drive around in. Clearly, the very definition of babe magnetism. Nothing says ‘I live in a basement and breathe like Darth Vader but not on purpose’ like Mr. Fantastic painted on your car.
Maisto has over 75 different vehicles with super-people slapped on ‘em. While the Batmobile is a unique example of a certain vehicle being synonymous with a hero as a regular ride, other heroes aren’t usually associated with what they drive. Green Arrow kinda had an Arrowcar back when such every hero had a themed car and a teenage ward, and Ghost Rider needs his flame-wheeled motorcycle, but to imply that Wolverine drives a tank is beautiful ridiculousness. I’m not sure what kind of synaptic lapses have to occur to decide that The Mighty Thor, warrior of Asgard and wielder of the mighty Mjolnir, would drive a Cadillac Vizon anyhow. He’d clearly drive a chariot hewn from Yggdrasil and powered by the souls of dishonored warriors and fairies.
My personal favorite item from this collection, and the one that made me purchase any of these abominations at all, is the Dr. Doom Ambulance. With ‘I make house calls!’ scrawled on the side of it, there could be no more threatening vehicle, inherently good but ever-so-evil inside, like a bunny rabbit stuffed with hornets. What kind of medical malpractice happens within? Would a supergenius REALLY write ‘DR. DOOM 2 U’ in bad text-messaging slang on the hood of his own nefarious transport? This is prime evidence that a good portion of my collecting sensibilities are dominated by the ‘so bad it HAS to be good’ philosophy.
Not all comic vehicles are as neat as the Batmobile, and please take note that writing ‘Batman’ on a Minicooper does not a Batmobile make.
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Article Tags: Batman, batmobile, hot wheels, Maisto, matchbox cars, racecars, scale model================
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