No Dearth of Vaders
01.20.07 By Collin DavidSo here’s my question : why the holy hell do I need three dozen Darth Vaders?
As I may have mentioned, I’ve been cleaning out my closets and selling the forgotten and undesirable on eBay, or mailing those things to friends, or feeding them to the dog, because that damned dog will eat just about anything. I knew that I had an ungodly amount of Star Wars action figures and various Wars memorabilia, and I fully expected to encounter the rich, precious veins of space adventure that run through the recesses of my room, like marble through a cave, or mysterious nougat through a delicious candy bar. Unfortunately, I severely underestimated the wealth of awesome that permeates my quarters, and thus, more storage solutions were sought out. New wells of Star Wars were discovered, and among them, oh so many Vaders.
Much more specific than general sci-fi collecting, or Star Wars collecting, I think that I’ve likely never passed on a Darth Vader action figure. As far as fictional villainy goes, he’s the ultimate villain. It’s been said that a successful villain is not a malevolent one, performing destructive deeds for the sheer sake of destruction - he performs ‘evil’ in the name of something that he sees as truly ‘good’ or progressive. From the villain’s perspective, there’s no other way, and he’ll use any means possible to accomplish those ends, and in that way, he’s simply a hero to an unusual logic. Tolkien’s Sauron (another much collected character) suffered from some kind of paranormal megalomania, violently reshaping the world in his own image. Marvel Comics’ Magneto sought to fight against the persecution of mutantkind, and Dr. Doom sought misguided (but passionate) revenge against Mr. Fantastic. Darth Vader, well, he was the servile mouthpiece to a greater evil, and in the end, he had an epiphany and actually proved to be the greatest hero of the Rebellion. And that’s why I love the guy.
Call it idolatry, but I’m surrounded by Darth Vaders. From the inch-tall Micro Machines playset Vader by Galoob, through an endless cache of Hasbro and Kenner 3.75″ - 5” Vaders (all very slightly different from one another, and some merely in different packaging than the last), all the way on up to the king of all Vaders, the arguably perfect 2-foot-tall Darth Vader with light-up sword and cloth cape made by Sideshow Toys. There’s small busts of Vader, statues of all varieties, a Darth Vader that transforms into a tie fighter, an unacceptably cute Galactic Heroes Vader, a Lego Vader, and even a big ol’ chunky Playskool Vader. And they’re almost all big, scary guys dressed all in black snowsuits with breathing problems and half of a payphone strapped to their chests. Some helmets come off to reveal the ghost-white half-man beneath the mask, some arms flail with lightsaber-slashing action when you press buttons. Some remain in their packages, such as the still-in-package original Return of the Jedi Vader, too cool to allow to gather dust.
And I realize that to a vast majority of the population, all of these look exactly the same, and they’re not entirely incorrect. Deanna recently spoke about hoarding items, and the possibility of a biological or genetic reason for some of our collecting compulsions. I think that for collectors, the idea of accumulating a ‘critical mass’ can be a quiet, unarticulated, but dominant urge. Either the idea that possessing every last something-or-other will create some kind of perfection, or creating a perfect balance in a display in a seamlessly-meshing sea of items - these are the impulses that drive a lot of my collecting.
I don’t know if it explains my truckload of Vaders. And let’s be clear here - I’m not talking about whiny Anakin Skywalker - I’m talking about the Episode IV : A New Hope (and beyond) Vader that we knew nothing about. No midichlorians, no hopelessly acted Padme, no boy-genius-who-built-C-3PO crap. Darth. Expletive deleted. Vader. All up in your Death Star, destroyin’ your planet. I’m very guilty of selectively ignoring delusional retcons, mostly for the sake of my delicate grasp on my fleeting youth. Every time I find another hair in my hairbrush, angels die. And maybe some unicorns. But mostly, me.
I’m keeping the Vaders. At least they won’t fall out of my head.
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Article Tags: action figures, Darth Vader, Hasbro, Kenner, Micro Machines, Star Wars================
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January 22nd, 2007 at 9:14 am
5″ really? shouldn’t that be like 3.75″?
January 22nd, 2007 at 10:14 am
You’re probably right. My sense of proportion is always wonky - I tend to call anything under 6″ (or 1/12th scale) generically 5″. I’m hopeless when it comes to the DC Direct 13″ figures - they did that just to mess me up.
‘Twill be amended! Thanks!