I’ve often feared for the safety of the older members of an auction audience. As the price goes up, as other bidders set their paddles down and hide their number slips from the auctioneer’s eyes, blood pressure rises. Tension grows, muscles constrict, eyes dart and dilate, the brain moves a milion miles an hour, analyzing all aspects of the event. Should I keep bidding? Is this thing really worth what I want to pay for it? Is this guy just bidding to see how far I’ll go? Wait — what was the bidding increment now? Math is done as fast in the head as possible…three more bids, the wallet can afford three more bids. It’s amazing that auction attendees don’t collapse left and right.

Or maybe it’s just me.

In ancient times, I would be more of a gatherer than a hunter. The stress of urgency doesn’t improve my performance, it degrades immensely. My auction experience hasn’t been horrible, but as bidding picks up speed I begin to lose consciousness, finding myself owning worthless boxes of dishes, a tray of office supplies I don’t need, or paying hundreds more than that used audio equipment was worth. When I come to, I try to talk myself into believing I did the right thing: $5 was definitely worth it, even if I have to carry around the box of solar calculators around for the rest of the day. And that guy bidding against me? I’m sure he’s a big-time dealer, at least I seem to remember him, so if he was willing to pay only $50 for it, it’s surely worth the $60 I paid. Since I clearly couldn’t count on the Conscious Me doing the right thing, I guess I’ll have to trust Panic Action Me to have done as good as possible.

A few years back, eBay comes into existence with the handy tool called the “Proxy Bidding.” Using this, you tell eBay the highest amount you’ll be willing to bid, and they’ll keep bidding for you without you knowing anything is even happening. My auction experience changed tremendously: Conscious Me could put as much thought as possible into my bid. There is no stress, and I can’t talk myself into continuing to bid. That is, if I don’t check the listing later. I had to force myself to trust my maximum bid, and leave the auction alone. To check back only encouraged me to fall back into my reckless bidding — not only trying to beat another bidder, but the clock, to have the highest bid before the auction ends. Note that I wasn’t trying to get the best price, or fit my budget…in the last few minutes of an auction, the purpose is to win.

Unfortunately, that bidding at the last minute is exactly the way to win. Mathematicians have proven that placing a bid at the last possible moment, or ’sniping,’ is far more successful than placing a reasonable maximum bid. Anecdotally, people have believed this almost as long as they’ve been using eBay. Software developers have out enormous effort into writing programs that ensure last-millisecond bids — and people pay for the software. Now that scientists have proven that they’re all doing things right, it will only make sniping more common.

I’m not sure how I’m going to deal with this now: in those final minutes, my brain vapor locks and all sensibility leaves me. I suppose I can tell myself to stick to proxy bidding, console myself when that sniper steals an auction away from me, but at least I won’t be heading for a stroke. I’d much rather feel the loss of an auction I really wanted than to become suddely aware that I’ve spent way too much on a box of unopened gym socks. Although, I really could use some socks. Hold on, let me see what’s closing in the next minute…

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This entry was posted on Thursday, June 29th, 2006 at 5:56 am and is filed under collecting fyi. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.